Hawaii in the Rear View...

So you may have heard, we just got back from Hawaii on Sunday. We'd been there a week. Well six sleeps and seven wakeups. Trust me the math sorta works out when you figure we left for home on the red-eye and arrived Sunday at seven a.m. Anyhow, we'd had this conference for work which I had been the planner for. 85 folks from the middle and western part of the U.S. (and Guam) decended upon Waikiki Beach for four days of discussions involving Soldier issues. I'd love to bore you to death with the details, but two of you already went to sleep. Oh, I left a day early to ensure the hotel was setup and took a couple days leave on the tail end.

Anyhow, the conference was a modest success and I learned a lot about setting up events from a few thousand miles away. I'm a visual guy so it was difficult for me to have a mental image of the rooms we were going to use for the breakout sessions and....*yahwn*

Anyhow, so I brought Stacey along with. This is pretty rare. Well, actually this is the first time I've ever been able to bring her on a business trip. Most times we've just had a baby, or the kids are in school, or we can't find a sitter, or her mom's sitting on her passport and refuses to give it back....small stuff. Anyhow, I've racked up about 130,000 miles with Delta and 110,000 with United and...anyhow, I had the miles. So I cashed in 65,000 miles and married it up with $7.50 in fees and got Stacey a ticket to ride shotgun in the 767. She hasn't flown anywhere since she last came to visit me in Japan in 1996. So...it's been a while. I like to keep her oppressed so that when I do give her a good deal she really feels like I'm doing her a favor. No, to be honest, our first ten years of marriage we were just trying to get by. I was gone constantly once I joined the military again so there just never was a good time while I was worried about my new career and making a good name. I ain't gonna lie to you. It's been pretty much all about me the last fifteen years. The first step in realizing you have a problem is admitting it. Or...something like that. Anyhow, we REALLY needed some time unmolested just her and me. So, once I figured that the hotel room was paid for, the flight was seven bucks, and I had per diem, out of pocket we couldnt possibly spend more than $700-$1000 and we just couldnt afford to pass this up. Plus we refinanced the house and we're scheduled to miss a payment, and...being a dutiful American, I elected to pump that money right back into the faltering economy. I know, I'm a sacrificer. It's what I do.

Anyhow, so the first day we arrived and occupied the room. Much to my surprise, as one of the perks of being the planner, we'd been upgraded to a "Jr. Suite". Which, really means you get a couch. Everyone had a balcony but our suite was on the nineth floor and overlooked Waikiki Beach up close and personal. Sureal is all I can say. I'm not sure I can spell it, but I can say it. (Does that word look right to you???) Anyhow, we sort of just vegged a while watching the surfers and the people walk by and the sailboats and ...just taking it in. Then we went out and got some dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger in Paradise. Wherein we learned you can get just about any add-on for $3.00. In this case, I got the plastic, "collector's" mug from the restaurant.

The next day I got up and toured the hotel and our breakout rooms and had some meetings and blah blah blah. Took about three hours which I felt horribly guilty about seeing that Stacey was locked in the room without children and that view and only 100 channels on the T.V. Oh, I warned her against room service, not till our 25th anniversary can she do that. ;)

So, that day and the next few days we'd go do things as either a couple or in a group. The first day (of the non-conference) we took the car and went up to the North Shore and visited the LDS Temple grounds. We didnt do a session because, well I asked and she said no. She was bent for election to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Which, we arrived at around 330 pm. Oh, I had gotten hungry so we stopped at this little road-side restaurant and had a, "plate lunch" which apparently always consists of meat, rice, and some fruit. I elected for the pulled pork that day, and every day thereafter. So we got to the cultural center and bought two "Ambassador Tickets". That meant you got the guided tour (and backstage passes), a special boat show/ride, the luau, a tram ride (which we didnt take) the show (which was really cool) and the ice cream at the show. Oh, and a DVD to play for your friends presuming you have any when you get home. I really liked the different island experiments and was completely enamored with the chicks that have the white ball on a string and swing it around. From the island of Aorta or something like that. Anyhow, I was deeply impressed that all of the students/dancers really enjoyed their work and seemed genuine with their desire to share their island culture. Oh, important to note, the firedancer guy who was in his mid-forties and was completely rippling with muscles had all the ladies in the crowd sweating profusely not just because of the hot sun, but because of his ability to rip a coconut out of it's husk with nothing more than a sharp stick and his bare hands. Ordinarily I would have gotten up and taught him a lesson, but he seemed to be doing fine enough on his own. Oh, also he said that all the rest of us flabby main-land types could have that same physique if we climbed nine trees a day. He called it...(wait for it) "Tree-Ninety X". Damnit, he was funny too.

The next day Stacey and our mutual friend Camille visited the Princess Castle or some crap like that and she gave me an entire download on the history of Hawaii and how we'd basically stolen it using the U.S. Army to occupy.

The next few days are really a blur, but we went fishing on a boat and Stacey caught a trigger fish, the State Fish of Hawaii, and we also visited a waterfall which frankly was a huge let-down for the hundred dollars it cost me to ride a van to the North Shore and park at a trail head at the golf course. I'd rather have golfed for 65 bucks and forewent the sweating. Oh, also a kid who played for University of Hawaii was our, "Guide" and he wore a sleeveless shirt and climbed every tree (and vine) to show them off to the ladies in the tour. Backing up, come to think of it, nobody at the Polynesian Cultural Center had a shirt on either....and further more...you know what? Never mind. It's too painful, let's move on.

So, anyhow, we're back at home now, and we've had a wonderful time. I've been online searching for a sixty-foot palm try to climb nine times a day. Apparently we're not in the right "Zone" for it to grow so I may have to settle for a light-pole which is just plain out of my price-range.

So, that's it, now you have it....OHHHHH wait. I can't fail to mention snorkeling in Hanauma (spell that?) bay. We spent a couple hours there snorkeling and getting wet in the surf. Stacey, whom is NOT a strong nor willful swimmer was able to get out into the surf and experience it. I think she even got wet behind her ears once. Oh, and the second to last day, I lost my wedding ring in the surf at Waikiki. I tried to get up on the break-water berm and when a big wave came in it pushed me off. In my effort to grab the berm the ring pulled right off. So, sick inside, I went up to the ABC store and purchased some goggles. I went right back out into the surf and for twenty minutes scoured the bottom about where I lost it. I couldnt see it, so I got up on the berm. I put my goggles up on my head to see more clearly and a wave came in and pushed me off. Ahem...and stole my goggles. I never saw them again either. They were about nine dollars and I figured I used them for about nine minutes. So it's still a much better return on investment than a 976 number. Those of you that get that joke should be disgusted with yourselves.

Anyhow, today is Tuesday and I took off to be home. I just couldnt focus at work yesterday and figured with drill this weekened I was only kidding myself that today would be in the least bit different.

I better run. You kids be good and keep your eye out on a little gold circle washing up on the beach if you head to Waikiki anytime soon.

All the best,

J