Sunday, April 29, 2012

Hey there.

Hey kid. Long time no see huh? I'm home today for a couple of hours. It's a Sunday and Lexi's not feeling well and we left her home from church. During Sacrament meeting Isabelle starting it too and so I offered to jump on that grenade and bring them home. What a beautiful Sunday too. The sun is shining out there and it's just the perfect temperature with a slight breeze. I enjoyed Sacrament today. The topic was on recognizing our blessings and enjoying them. It's been a real theme throughout our lives the past couple of weeks. Seems that someone upstairs is intent on hammering the idea home to us.

So here I am, listening to Miranda Lambert on one tab and typing on this here other-en. You think I'd learn wouldnt you? Miranda's sad songs are just that, sad. But they evoke such feeling you know? Right now she's on about a house that she used to live in. She already almost made me cry at the corners with someone that died and prancin' around in the forest with a mystical horse figure. Yeah, it's all very metaphorical, but even a dumby like me could pick out what she was after. Anyhow, so I've been thinking a lot this past week about my own personal blessings. Sometimes blessings that are understated and unappreciated. I guess I'm a bit like a spoiled child at times. I can't see that things that I've really wanted, and figured I'd worked so hard for, and that would really be a blessing, well when they dont come true it can be a real setback at times. But I'm learning. As I told you, I'm pretty dense at times. Oh, I can pick right up on a comedic que, I can run that baby right into the ground at times. But where I need a little help is in the faith department at times.

I tell you what though. I'm really thankful for the things I've learned over the past few years. I feel like my own personal challenges, as well as our family challenges, have really given me a lot of insight. I now understand things about how our Heavenly Father sometimes blesses us. Too often he's taught me personally through a witholding of what I want most. I've also seen in others some of my own challenges. I've tried to help at times, tried to convey the things I've learned, and had them fall on deaf ears. I've outlines a map, charted a course and tried to share my own challenges in hopes that it would convince them. You know what? I see from the Lord's side now how that must be to want so badly to spare someone that heartache, that grief. I know that too often He must have personally wondered and ached for me to listen, and I just wouldnt. Mostly because I'm one that has to drink from the bitter cup to really know for myself.

You know, I've figured out a lot about myself too. Turns out, I'm a little crazy. No, I knew you knew that as well. But I've felt at times like I was the only one in the world that got it, and therefore the world had gone crazy. Then I'd seen crazy in others and figured they'd get it too, and now I'm thinking, that I just have some unique personal issues or insight that help me to inherently understand things I can do nothing about. I'm probably making no sense at all here, that's part of the crazy part. See, I get things that others dont see. It's kind of like that movie with Mel Gibson where he's got stickies and newspapers all over his apartment and lines and highlighters and yeller stickies and stuff all over tying it all together. Then that chick with the giant forehead and the huge teeth with the red hair? What's her name? Pretty woman? Yeah, anyhow she visits his apartment and realizes he's a tad crazy but one of his political theories is actually true. Anyhow, horrible allusion there, but if you were a little crazy you'd get it. So anyhow, what I'm saying is, I get it. I get how my Heavenly Father shows his love for me at times. I see the inherent beauty in a tragic and horrible country song, just the same as I see it in the first Crocus flower in the Spring. I see in this world the raging runoff and the brisk cool mountain streams. I see the broken and disheveled. I see the penitent heart and feel their pain. I also see the proud and the wicked, and identify with their plight, in fact, probably too often. Hold on, Sarah Evans is getting a little bit stronger, I have to pause this so I can focus.

Where was I? Oh yeah, so, I guess I sometimes wonder why I have been given this insight. You know as I sit in Sacrament, watching Josh hold and feed Samuel, holding Isabelle and having her hug me, realizing all I've been blessed with...my wonderful and beautiful wife. It's a lot to take in you know? I wonder why the Lord has given me this insight. I wonder if I'm unique, or if everyone gets it, and is just quiet about it. I sometimes think that everyone's crazy, and simultaneously maybe I'm the only one. Well whatever, I don think I really captured what I meant to say. I think all I'm trying to get across is how thankful I am for God's plan for me. I'm thankful he's given me these challenges. I'm amazed at what he's required of me. I'm amazed at the things I've come to know but can do nothing about. I've come to realize that maybe how some of our church leaders must feel. I'm guessing that might be part of what the Savior feels. It's just the smallest bit of empathy I've learned from Him. I feel the hurt, I know the pain. I feel the extremes of happiness and joy and exasperation and pleadings of a parent taken to the extreme.

What an amazing world and life we have before us. To cram all of this opportunity and expense into one short life of 80 years. Incredible. Sometimes I feel like I've learned so much and other times I feel like I'll never learn what I'm supposed to with only 40 years left. Sometimes I think I've crested over, and I feel some of the undertanding I saw in my father and grandfather. I feel like I know some of that personal pain and understanding I saw in their eyes when they wanted more for me and I wouldnt listen. I also imagine I'm gaining that same twinkle and misting at the corners I saw when they knew I was going the right way and would figure it out soon enough.

Wow this is perfect, Youtube, just selected, "What hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts. I guess that's what I'm getting at, that bitter-sweet knowledge you get when it's too late to affect it. That's what I'm getting at. So, now that begs the question, if you have a poet's soul, what do you now do with it? How do you use it for good? Will anyone listen? What's God's plan for your individual talents, for the things you've learned and that pain you've swam through, that relief that you've felt at forgiveness and the memory that remains? I guess that's part of what grandpa's know huh? Why they look at you the way they do. That, "I'd tell you, but you wouldnt listen anyway." that you recall in their countenance.

Well, hey listen, I gotta go check on Lexi and Isabelle. So you have a wonderful day, and week if I dont get around to it again. Keep doin' what you're doin, keep working towards being all you can be and accepting the, "No's" and looking for the deeper meaning and what you're supposed to learn from them. Dont be afraid to notice the budding trees, and feel His work in the sunshine that accompanies your labors. Stop every once in a while and take a bearing and see what He's done for you. Those things you can't quantify, but you feel in your heart were individual and important to you. Then, instead of moving on, make sure you acknowledge them and tell him how much you appreciate not only the happiness, but the heartache that helped you become what you are today.

Anyhow, I gotta go.

All the best to you and yours.

J

Friday, April 27, 2012

M&M's and Timmy Time

Alright. Here's my report thus far on my day off. So I got up and made the traditional Friday morning breakfast, complete with papas and juevos and ham. You know, I just love over-easy eggs. Is there anything better than a couple of peices of home-made bread toast with real butter and an over-easy sobre el? Nah, not much. Nothing without a pulse anyhow. So, today of course I made breakfast for Stacey and the kids. Stacey as I told you went and sub-ed at the preschool for a half day today. Dont ask me why, we're just gonna get 1099ed at the end of the year and pay it all back anyhow. But, Stacey agreed to do it, and it makes her feel like she's helping out. Plus I think she gets tired of dealing with her own five kids, so why not try and wrangle 20 of someone elses' right? Yeah, chick logic. So, anyhow, then from there it took me 45 minutes to get everyone out the door, (Sam, Olivia and me) complete with sweaters, three diaper changes (I'm not wearing Depends quite yet so do the math there) and then find some socks and blah blah blah yada yada yada. Anyhow, we walked from the house down to the little park and on over to the Mecca to get some Diet Luv for the day. I figured by the time I carried Olivia halfway there and back on my shoulders pushing a stroller and lugging a 44 oz anchor, I'd earned it. Anyhow, it's Timmy Time now at the house, and Livy is suckin' down M&M's on the bean bag and I'm sure I'll be explaining the chocolate stains to my better half within the hour. So, all in all, a great start to the weekend. I'm about out of news from here, so you just keep your head down and your powder dry. All the best to you and yours, J

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Checking in.

Hi, how are you? Haven't seen you for a while. I have to make this short and sweet. I'm off to yet another social engagement this evening. This one is a choir recital for the girls. Yesterday night was scouts, and Tuesday night was the dance recital for Lexi. Oh, and tomorrow Stacey teaches pre-school in the morning, so I'm not even sure I'm going to get a run in, unless it's later on in the heat of the day. Anyhow, I just wanted to check in, let you know I'm alive and kickin. Nothing really to report. Just been working hard at the new gig, trying to fit in with the new staff I'm working with. Other than that, things are going along hunky-dory. I've been trying to clean up my posts on facebook lately and bring a more positive message, on my page as well as on other's. Sometimes I do really well, and other times I get sucked in, but I'm a work in progress as we're all aware. I think tomorrow, if I get time, I'm going to do that little exercise where you pen your own eulogy? You ever heard of that? Anyhow, it's supposed to focus you on what kind of things you want people to remember you by as well as remind you about what direction you're currently heading. It seems a tad presumptuous, so I'm not sure I'm going to post it, but I think I'll go through the exercise anyhow to see if that wont help me a little in my current plateau of personal expansion of light and learning. Anyhow, that sounded nice but a tad cheesey. So, I guess I better get going, I'm going to go play with the girls in the front yard while Stacey teaches her single piano lesson. You know I miss each and everyone of you and wish we could have this conversation face to face over a couple of mushroom n' swiss' but, it is what it is. Life is what happens while you're busy makin' plans. Anyhow, all the best to you and yours. J

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Pink Milk and Pinkalicious...

Hey there. Yeah, I know, it's been a while. I just got back into town a couple of hours ago from a campout with Josh. Oh, you probably didnt know this, but I got called to be an 11 year old Primary teacher, as well as the 11 Scout leader along with Chad, my co-hort in crime. Anyhow, we went out to Five Mile Pass out near Cedar Fort, Utah and had a pretty good over-nighter with Josh and his partner in crime, Carter. So, forgive me, I'm a little tired, my punctuation and grammar may not be up to par.

So, yeah, listen, Friday was Josh's birthday. He turned twelve, so tomorrow he's going to graduate out of my class and be ordained a Deacon. I'll be doing the ordaining, so that's pretty cool. I've never given anyone else the Priesthood before, so it should be an emotional day for all involved. Josh and I had an interview together last Wednesday with the Bishop and I was actually very impressed with Josh's answers to some of the interview questions. It's not a requirement that a parent be involved in the interview, but when I was invited in, I figure what the heck you know?

So, tomorrow we got that going on. It should be fun. Then in the afternoon we'll have inlaws and outlaws over for brownies and ice cream for Josh's family birthday. Which, I'm not sure why, but apparently kids these days need multiple birthday parties. One for friends, one for family, one at school, and I guess one at church. Yeah, he took donuts on Friday to get the other kids in the public school system wired so that they can't learn and the Japanese keep on kickin' our trash. Whatever. I'm happy for the little man and all that he's growing up to be. It's quite a contrast between Sam and Josh. Josh, I realized will be driving in four short years, and Sam hasnt even realized that it's an option for him.

You know, that reminds me. Those two boys. Vastly different in ways, and so similar in others. Sam is so easy-going. Josh was an incredibly difficult baby and I'm pretty sure we didnt sleep for three years straight. In fact I know it, because Lexi came along quite unexpectedly 18 months after his arrival and spoiled the whole idea of ever sleeping again. We started planning babies after that point, and gave ourselves a bit of a reprieve before adding Olivia. Whom, as it turns out, is absolutely out of control. She's insane I tell you. Has these dark brown burning little eyes and this blonde hair and an angelic face but a demonic demeanor. Oh yeah, I know, she's a child of God alright, but she's Hell on Wheels I tell ya. She wakes up pissed off and goes to bed quite against her dominant and agressive will. She screams out in the middle of the night, "MY BA! MY BAHHHHHH! OH NO MY BAH!!!" which really is a signal to your's truly that I've way over-slept since putting her down at 11:19 and now, at 3:38, it's apparently time for, "Pink Milk" which really is code for Strawberry Nesquick. Yeah, I know, I'm a horrible parent. I could give two shits right about now. I just want to sleep again through a solid night some day.

Oh, yeah, so about that milk, yeah, I realize I'm coating her perfect little teeth with sugar, yep, you go right ahead and judge me. I dare ya. You've never had five kids before. You dont know your arse from a hole in the ground. So she rots her teeth out? It's not like she doesnt stand to inherit a brand spankin' new set already. Oh, and you and your dentist (you know who you are) can also try to convince me it weakens the bones in the jaw and blah blah blah blah. Yeah, dude, seriously, after 12 years of not sleeping, you learn to make sacrifices ok? Dont you judge me. It's not like the other four wont have perfect teeth. This is Olivia's penance for climbing on anything vertical, horizontal, or otherwise the moment you turn around. This is her payback for willfullly walking over to the fridge, filling up a cup with water, and then walking over and proudly dumping it all over the floor, couch, heat register, carpet or whatever, MOMENTS after you just spanked her and set her on the stairs for the same exact reason. The one way I can get her to sleep is to lay down beside her and her pink milk and read her, "Pinkalicious" which, to be honest, paints and entirely different vision in my head. But you know how I am about that sort of thing. I'm not even a work in progress anymore, I'm just bad news.

OK, so I lost my train of thought, I got on a rant and forgot. Where were we? So, oh yeah, so Josh is going to get the Priesthood, I'm stoked, mom's in shock, yada yada yada. It's a bit of a paradym shift (is that spelled right???) to know that he's going to be wearing a white shirt and tie and passing sacrament, instead of getting thumped with my fist while my arm is around my wife sitting in the pew.

So, what else? Yeah, things are going along well. I'm keeping up with all my personal goals with the exception of piano. It's not that I dont want to, it's that life conspires to keep me in the house for only about 2 hours a night, and 4/5 of that is spent mopping up pink milk, or picking up socks, stirring the goulash or whatever before the next requirement for the evening kicks in. Dont get me wrong, I'm quite accepting of it. Plus, the busier I am, the less I get into trouble. But you all knew that about me anyhow.

Anyhow, I better go. Olivia is going on and on and she's probably starving for mac and cheese or something. I gave her some oreo substitutes (the cheap ones) to break open, suck the frosting out and discard the soggy cookies) on the stairs before I came up to pen this, and I'm sure the house is in a total disarray because we left everyone in charge of everyone else for twelve minutes.

Anyhow, I gotta run. All the best to you and yours. Wiggle wiggle wiggle and all that.

Jon Out.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Yup-date.

Yup. It's me again. Ya, I know you'd all thought you were rid of me. Guess what, I'm like a bad penny that way. I keep coming back around. Anyhow, I guess here's your update. Well you've most likely surmised that I've been absent the last week and a half or so. Well for good reason. I finally took some leave from work and decided to head up to the lot and get some stuff done. I took off the 26th through the 29th which effectively gave me from the Thursday before, to, well today, the 1st of April off. So let's get you all up to speed shall we?

OK, so you knew I had the trailer in the driveway for a few weeks. Yeah, I was working on my solar power experiment. I bought all those batteries and a couple of solar panel kits and did all sorts of anectdotal research on the, "Inter-Net" to as to why forta-see how some other guys/gals had done it. Well anyhow, during the trials I discovered that really, to make solar a viable option, I only need about ten solar panel kits at 189 per each to power stuff as long as the sun shines on a fairly regular basis. Anyhow, so jumping ahead, the neighbors I'm sure were getting a bit anxious of my white-trash experiment in the driveway so I pulled it up to the lot to hide it from the casual lookers-on. So, anyhow, I'm not entirely sure but I think dad and I took it up two weeks ago, and then we commenced work on putting some concrete around the fence posts that I started around our parking area. So, to paint you a vivid Miramax picture of what we've got here, imagine a five acre lot, 330' x 660' covered in mostly sagebrush and grass and what-not. Then put a big pile of rocks, whith the median size of a single car garage at the top end of it. Then imagine a crappy version of one of those "Backyards of South-America" play houses and you've got a good start. Additionally, those of you playing along with the, "Life of Riley Home Game" know that last year we put down about 1200 bucks worth of road base on our burgeoning 80'x80' parking area. You'll also recall the drama and intrigue, and near broken-heartedness of our Protagonist at finding that the cost of septic and water had exceeded all available cash fund sources and was post-poned.

OK, so now you're up to par with the rest of our more avid followers. So anyhow, after pulling the trailer up, dad and I worked on painting one section of the two-rail fence and installing some 2x4" rails (not necessarily in that order). Additionally, we also installed a sweet-arse setup (if I do say so my darn-self) that will be the envy of Harbor Freight Solar Kid Afficianados the world over. Yeah, imagine a clothes line T right? Got me? Like but instead of putting some wire betwixt them, put a third T-post in the middler and then put three 2x6" (16 footers) on the top of them for whence to receive the mounting brackets of the aforementioned solar panels (2 each). So, then, paint it sparkling white, with some of Lowe's Valspar (2 in one primer and paint) ((this is not on the test, just backdrop info)), and you've got yourself the beginnings of a mounting platform that is the envy of the county.

OK well that's about where the happiness stops. See, at that point, I invited the whole Fam-Damnily (nuclear) up to take part in the next four or five days of enjoying trailer life the way that many of our Southern and Midwestern allies in the War on Terror/American Values do. Anyhow from there I'll be honest it's a complete blur. I remember burning a tire off of a giant tire rim with Josh one night. See, mainly because I couldnt get the tire off of it, and I had predetermined we needed a more suiting metal fire pit. So, I ....located...this here tire and wheel combo, and went to separating the two of them a few flourocarbons at a time with the aid of a few thousand degrees and some kindling. Anyhow, it's important to note you really shouldnt breath that stuff, and on average it takes about 2 and a half hours to burn a tire of the 16 1/2 inch variety. I'd appreciate any of you in environmental law enforcement to turn a blind-eye at the previous admission of conduct, but not admission of guilt. I have the right to remain silent, I know. I waived it.

Anyhow where were we? Oh, it's also semi-important that the REASON I apparently needed a fire pit, was because we had been having a camp fire smack in the middle of our parking area, and apparently coals and remnants and what-not have been making their way into Stacey's trailer with negative affect on the psyche. So, yeah, she axed me to clean it all up and build an actual fire pit outside of the parking area. Which, I considered a good idea considering the dormant winter grass is about ten inches deep and dry as a bone just outside our parking area. Anyhow, so there were a couple of days of incliment weather, and I hooked all seven of the batteries together and tested out the inverter. Oh, yeah, this is important, so it turns out ANY type of load starts the inverter's cooling fan, which I "cleverly" hid directly underneath our bed (Stacey's/Olivia's/Sam's and once in a while mine) and ran constantly once I attempted to plug the trailer in to run it on over-night as an experiment. Anyhow, realizing the irony that the batteries would be almost dead by morning, only to run the cooling fan inherent in the inverter, so as to cool it from the constant "draw" of two nightlights, was just too much for me to handle. It started my mind on figuring out another way to run this experiment on 12 volt most of the time, and then some sort of a switch (conveniently located somewheres) that one could trip in order to use a particular appliance on demand instead of as per usual like. I'm not sure you're getting the picture so I'll just sush-up about it.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnyway. So we (the fam) camped out really from Sunday night (for them) and then left in a couple of shot groups on Thursday afternoon. Oh, it's important to note, that with the arrival of Samuel, we now are required to take two vehicles camping. We're THAT family now. One step away from a giant Econoline 15 passenger van I guess. Complete with seven little Disney Mickey Mouse characters in the back of the home-job tint window in the back. Over my dead body.

So, listen, that's about it. The weather was on and off, it was a tad on the cold side, but still enjoyable. I got a lot done and felt great about it. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday turned out to be welcome down-time as all I had to do yesterday was replace the garbage disposal (second time within the year). Also, it's not important to note, but I made the mistake of trying to convey male thoughts and concerns to a female partner and pretty much ruined most of Saturday afternoon. Women I tell you. You start out with a fairly logical line of reasoning, and you get sidetracked and confused with the mundane and trivial and inconsequencial. Oh, and that's just my side of the argument. That's before you bring Stacey into it. ;) Anyhow, all is well, turns out men and women think a little differently, but she's amazing and forgives me just the same for my constant passionate feelings on things like registering ATV's and other critical life-changing events.

Hey, listen I gotta go. I haven't practiced piano in almost three weeks because life sorta just took off at a gallop. Anyhow, all the best to you and youren. You know I think the world of ya. WAIT! Before you go, I forgot the best part! I got the water tank mounted on the stand and moved over next to the trailer and filled half-way full of water and a half-cup of bleach (4 ounces of "prevention" you see). Anyhow, turns out it should gravity feed into the trailer JUST like my schematics and yeller stickies said it would while I was planning it in the off-season.

OK, seriously, you have family stuff and I need a Diet Coke. All the best kids.

Jon