Turns out, My Name IS Earl...

OK, so we're watching the third episode of, "My Name is Earl". Turns out there are similarities in our lives. My middle name, happens to be, "Earl". So, I was driving my plush '96 Toyota Pickup down to the Jiffylube. Our mission, to find out why the, "Check Engine Sometime this Quarter" light is still on. I had Isabelle with me, that's my 38 lb six-year old. She's good stock that kid. Anyhow, I lured her in with the promise of a stop at the Maverik ("Maverick" for those of you that are not Westerners), perhaps for a slushy, or even a sweet frozen yogurt. Anyhow, we had Rebekah hooked up to the machine at the Lube and diagnosed her with, "Catalitic Responses Below Threshold" which, is Mechanic for, "EGR Valve or some other 145.00 part with 150.00 in labor cost". But they couldnt work on it, on accounta, well turns out, "Paulo" is not in fact, a "Mechanic". Who knew? I figured with that with a sweet set of coveralls and a nice green certificate on the wall with Paulo's name on it, that we could make this dream a reality, but to no avail.

Anyhow, so Isabelle and I, quite dejected, and somewhat thirsty, saddled up Rebekah. However, in my effort to, "Click It or Ticket" I jammed a little cough drop wrapper down into the receiver thingy. Anyhow, after attempting to remove it with a baskeball inflation needle, and failing miserably, I took the risk and fired up Becky for the ride home sans safety restraint.

On the way I realized, almost as a stroke of genius, that I could use the middle seatbelt to loop through the driver seat belt and affect a safety restraint which was the envy of soap-box car drivers the world 'round. So, I put the radio on one of the four stations we can pickup without a radio antenna and moved back on our way to the ranch. I stopped myself from thinking negative things about guys that wear their name on their shirts at work, when I realized that in the military, I TOO wear my name on my shirt, and my hoity-toitiness ground to a screaching halt.

Anyhow, upon my return to the ranch, I found that my mom and dad have purchased us a, "Vizio 55" LCD Television. So, my dream of surprising my wife with a TV was thwarted and now I am left with the prospect of surprising my spousal-unit with a cabinet, wallmount and perhaps surround-sound because I'm a big spender. I love it when she calls me, "Big Papa".

So kids, that consists of my day. Oh, well we're going to dinner at, "The Texas Road House". I'm sure we're going to split a Bloomin' Onion, or whatever the American version of the Australian delicacy is.

Before I do, I think I'll change my pants to a hole-less version (When I car shop I go in looking poor. I learned that from Dr. Cosby when he went to buy a car for Theo in that one episode and it's served me well). So...I better wrap this up, turns out my desire to be a success has been tempered with the reality that I wear my name tape on my shirt, and it may as well say, "Earl".

My solace at this point, is that even Doctors wear name tags, so I dont feel so bad about being the Southern kind of, "Earl" versus the English variety.

I think we're done here. I said to you, Good Day.

....

I SAID, GOOD DAY!!!