Zero Trace Living

So, the past few days I've had a feeling that I needed to cover a certain subject. As I've driven to work in the darkness the thought has come to me repeatedly. The words, "Zero Trace Living" and, "A Life Not Lived" have run wild through my conciousness. Some of the thoughts associated with these two terms are of course the given, "What the heck is that all about?" and, "What does that really mean?" So, I've thought a bit about this and here's what I've come up with.

See, I'm VERY happy in my life. Just like anyone of course, I have days that I could just do without. The past three weeks have just been insane. Going from one thing to the other. Actually if you back it up to maybe even June, it's been a whirlwind. In June I went to Turkey. Not, like to BUY a turkey, but the actual country of, Turkey. Then, when I got back, I dropped my father-in-law's ATV over on to myself and jammed my arm up right nice. It was really kind of cool because as I was loading it into the back of my pickup, it reared back on me. I knew instantly I couldn't put the nose down and it was going to crush me. Pin me right to the ramp and crush my head on the concrete driveway in the process. Oh yeah, forgot to mention I wasn't wearing a helmet. Dumb. Anyhow. So she rears up on me, and I have a split second decision, crush my sternum and flatten the back of my skull, or push it off to the side and throw myself free of it. Well, remarkably I was able to choose the latter. I pushed it off to the right and she nose-dived right into the concrete and landed on her side, with me still in the saddle. Well then, the six-hundred pound ATV began to roll back on me. Pinned as I was, my left arm holding it out away from me. Stacey and my dad came over in a panic and repeatedly asked me if I was ok. I said I was, but if it wasn't too much trouble, I would like them to roll it the opposite way, as it was getting rather heavy just with the one arm. So, suffice it to say, I've been dealing with a torn something in my shoulder and periodic shooting of pain which is frustrating. Really there is no point to this story, other than, "Chock that up to another, 'Why Me'?"

Well from there, I think we had some sort of Summer vacation, maybe not. Then we started football for Josh, yada yada yada...an elk hunt in which I killed a nice spike but lost him to bloating and, oh yeah, we had a Summer of visiting the lot we bought out in Fruitland a couple years back. So, then..now here we are knocking on Christmas' door.

Again, to reiterate, it's been...INSANE. The past three weeks have kept me running from work, to home, to dance/scouts/store whatever and back home, to some other activity and back to work, to drill...endless cycle. I'm ready for a real break.

Here's where I think the tie-in is. So, I'm driving to work in Big Green the other day. I hear a few of the songs about life. Remember When, by Alan Jackson among a few others that really got me thinking. How horrible would it be to be just like everyone else? MAN! would that suck! No seriously, I look back on my life and I really dont even have a, "Bucket List". There are a couple things I would like to do before the Grim Reaper comes...reaping. One is to hunt moose in Alaska (I personally think that Sarah Palin is totally within her rights to televise hunting). The other is of course salmon and halibut fishing (and snuggling up with Sarah, also...in Alaska). Finally, I want to visit Machu Pichu and a slew of the Central American ruins. But, I dont..have an extensive list. It seems, life just sorta, happens to me.

If I look back, I've visited 27 different countries thus far. I've hunted most all of America's big game, with the exception of sheep, moose, and bison. I have reached Gold Status with Delta, Silver Medallion, somethign something with American and STILL can't use the Crown Room! I've fired automatic weapons, blown up C4 and 40lb cratering charges. I've been to explosive hazards schools and learned how to approach unexploaded ordnance. I've conversed with peers in other countries in Spanish, Arabic, French, Japanese, horrible German. I've camped at 13000 feet in the High Uintas. I've loved and lost. I've lost and loved. I've felt the whole gammut of feelings that this life has to offer. I've refinanced, I've lost earnest money. I've had a son and three daughters. Been married, never divorced but come close. I've discovered I've been wrong at the very cusp of the unfixable, and I've stepped over the line with no hope of fixing it. I've been shot at, and not shot back. I've trained a weapon and a flashlight and trembled at the trigger. I've felt the understanding that today may be my day, but there's nothing I can do about it.

My point in all this is...well, let me give you an example. A very dear friend of mine once asked me about a particular video game. His question was rather direct and easily understood. Basically he wanted to know if this particular video game, (the fourth or fifth in the series) was "Like the real thing"? I was dumbfounded. There's no way to answer. Of course not. Of course it's not like that. You'll never feel what it's like playing that game to know that there's a real life widow and two children that will never see that man again once he expires. You dont plus up with 12 new Soldiers at the next, "level". You can't experience the days on end boredom of the same day repeated like Ground Hog Day. But, I realized, he had no way to know.

I'm telling you this, because, I dont think I'm alone. I think your experiences are just as personal. Yours are just as vibrant. Just as meaningful. You have moments burned into your mind. Like snapshots. Those moments can never be erased. Some make sense, some you never understand. But they are individual and unique to who you are. You may be a dentist, or a surgeon. I will never know what it's like to fix a tricuspid valve, or a bicuspid tooth. You may lose a child. You may lose a house. There are things that make you up, that make you who you are. To me, the important thing, are taking those things, and making them a positive part of who you really are. These life experiences bring depth and clarity and meaning into this existence. These experiences form you into the person you need to be for those around you. You're finally living.

That is, if you're living it. That is, if you're soaking it in. See, I think way too much emphasis is spent on memorizing baseball statistics. I think way too much time is spent on scanning the brackets for your favorite football team. Wouldnt that time be better spent on crushing a quarterback? Do you remember that feeling of reading the play, shooting the gap and crushing him before he knew you were there? It's an awesome feeling. Something which can never be replaced by the memorization of ever line-backer's stats since 1954. You gotta live it man. If you missed your chance then, take it now. Live it. What's available in your life today? Are you loving your spouse as deeply as you can? Are you holding back in your profession? Do you really seek to understand your God? Do you believe in his plan for you? What is your physical fitness level? Did you ever learn Spanish? What is available to you? Without looking back, what can you look forward to?

Zero Trace camping, is the idea that you set off into the mountains and backpack through. Digging catholes for your scat, and leaving nothing but footprints in your wake. You hope that the rain will come and wash those away, so that someone who follows behind may never know you were even there. To me, I think life is just the exact opposite. I think you need to make an impact in those around you. Make someone smile today. Make a difference in a child's belief in themself. You can be the light that shines for someone who just doesn't see a reason to go on. You can do your best with what you have to make an impact. You can leave not only footprints, but giant billboards that you were, "here". I'm asking you to live life. I'm asking you to practice, "Full Impact Living" I'm asking you to break out of yourself and find out what talents you have. What the potential is for you here, and live it.

Well, that's pretty much my rant for today. I'm trying to live my life such that if I was taken at this very minute, I might not wish I had just one more day. I want my relationships to be solid. To be true. My loved ones to know I love them at full throttle. That they may not ever have to wonder if I had been happy with them. I want people at my funeral to come and tell my wife and kids how I made them happy. How I made them smile when they were down. How I inspired them to break out of themself and start living.

I gotta go now. My babygirl Olivia is tired and momma's teaching piano. I've got to go live some more life. I've got to soak it all in before it evaporates like yesterday. I hope you will too. Take it easy and remember, a life not lived is no life at all.