So, heck of a week huh? Man, tell you what. This whole work week was a complete waste for me. Seriously, I tried to get engaged. It was just tough. I couldn't focus. Dont get me wrong, I have PLENTY of work stacked up from months of neglect. You ever notice how if you take one day off, somehow you're three days behind? How is that even possible? I dunno, but I tell you what, I've been somehow able to do it. I took two days off last week and came to work with 96 emails. That's of course including the crap that is FYI, which I JDC (Just Dont Care). Anyhow, so here I sit today at the table in the kitchen.
Hold-up for a second. I'm going to go off on a rant. See, I'm in charge of our children whilst Stacey is with the neighbor lady gettin' pretty down at the salon. So, in addition to making a huge mess by trying to feed baby Olivia her Chef Boyardee Chicken and Rice, I am also in charge of finding the blankey and making a baba. Yeah, so here's my rant. SOMEONE PLEASE explain to me what is so freaking great about baby formula in the powder? It's like 25 bucks for a 25 oz can. If you're doing the math at home, that's like a buck an oz, give or take. So, I gander at the incredients: "Whey protein concentrate (from Cow's Milk, Enzymatically Hyrdrolyed, Reduced in Minerals), Vegetable Oils, Soy, Coconut and High-Oleic Safflower...." among a slew of others. However, aren't we trying to sell the world on the amazing benefits of soy and how much cheaper it is to grow than beef?
Hold up, neighbor girl has a bloody nose in my garage...how DO I end up with these issues???
OK, we're back, anyhow, I think it's friggin' ridiculous how expensive formula is, when it's nothing more than my own Whey Protein Shake I buy from Walmart for building muscles 12 different ways. I figure my protein shakes are a rip-off at ten bucks a container, and THOSE come in chocolate, strawberry and vanilla!!!
OK, so where were we? Oh, anyhow, so the holiday is just around the corner. Today Stacey took me to the Men's Warehouse. Which is about the biggest misnomer I have come across in a long time. She said I needed a new suit. But I figured since it had, "warehouse" in the title, I was good to wear my jeans and boots and go in unshaven and unwashed (See also, "Clientel for Red Lobster" on an earlier rant. Anyhow, so, I'm obviously out-classed, and out-gunned when I go into this place. "Jay" whom is immaculately dressed, and "Guarantees I'm going to Like the Way I Look" walks me on over to the starter suits at about 700 bones a pop. Well hey the good news is, it's, "Buy One, Get One Free", which makes my boots feel a little less out of place. So, anyhow, Jay takes about 45 minutes going through the educational process of where my shoulder line should be, and the cut of this, and that....blah blah blah. I think at one point when he was marking my suit he reached a little deep in between the trouser thighs, but he had chalk in his hand, so I figured it was normal. So, blah blah blah, yada yada yada, I end up with four new shirts, four ties, six pair of socks, two black belts, two new suits, and of course the proverbial partridge. OK, so we check out, and I'm about 800 bucks lighter than when we went in. Thursday of next I will don my suits and I'm certain that I will look simply smashing in them. However, I'm not certain that I will be 800 dollars worth of SMASHING. That's a lot of friggin' smashing if you ask me.
Anyhow, so were on our way home, and Stacey starts to tear-up and tell me how she just wanted to do something nice and how much I deserve it, and how I'm always sacrificing for her and the kids..all very touching stuff. It meant a lot to me. But I still have trouble buying clothes. For me, it's all about utility. I need 800 bucks worth of satisfaction for 800 dollars worth of ...well...dollars. See, I'm a guy that prefers 25 dollar jeans. 150 dollar jeans with little white stiching and flaps on the pockets and a nice little place for my boyfriend, "Stephan" to rest his manicured hands just aint my style you dig? I'm much more at home with a nice pair of JC Penny's slacks and a nice Van Huesen shirt. If I've even spelled that correctly.
So, moral to this story, is I felt a little, no a lot, out of place today. I mean, I'm an officer in the U.S. Army. I'm supposed to be a gentleman, but it was apparent to me today, that I'm way out of my element in some of the more refined arts and dress of the day. I couldnt tell you a Vera Wang from an Aloe Vera. I just frankly dont have a clue. Anyhow, I guess what I'm saying is I like to look nice, but I need a dang good reason to drop that kind of cash. So, we checked out, and Jay was nice and all, but I can't help but think he was quietly disturbed at my rough edges and how he must have done me a favor purchasing two suits off the, "Bargain Rack". You know what? That really doesnt bother me. To me, I would expect the same from a BMW dealership. I think there's a certain expectation of what their clientel should look, act, and maybe even smell like.
My point in all this I guess, is, hey I'm ok with that. I'm ok with frugal. I'm ok with old-school. I'm ok with acceptable pricing and expecting minimim service and convenience. Not to mention utility. I think this world has swayed very wide of those traditional ethics and that mindset that our grandparents exhibited. I think paying for a car shouldn't mean a second job. I think having a home shouldn't mean you eat beans and rice every meal and freak out the day you buy steak. I think everything in moderation. I think, hey, I get just as much love in my 25 dollar jeans as some get in their 150.00 jeans. I think, well the difference is, I'm not all that interested in snuggling up with Stephan so, it really doesnt bother me that I'm not that polished. I'm a man moulded after my dad, who was, well a heck of a lot like his dad too. I guess, good enough is good enough for me.
But I guess when the rubber hits the road, and you need someone to help you fix your fence, or change your serpentine belt, or look under your hood (if you catch my drift), well I guess I'm your man.
I gotta run now, momma just got home and the insanity just kicked up three more notches. I'll catch you guys later, color inside the lines and hugs and kisses on all the appropriate areas. We'll see you soon.
Keep it Real,
J
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