Big Green

So did I ever mention how much I love my pickup? Well, let me clarify. I have two trucks. One is a little red beater, "Rebekah" and the other, my current love interest, "Big Green". Big Green, is a 1996 GMC. She's 3/4 ton rated with a 454 Vortek has a K&N filter, power-chipped and has less than 80K original miles on her. Before Green, I had "Betsy". She was a '93 Chevy 1/2 ton, that gave great service but after the third transmission was finally sent out to pasture. (She currently lives on a farm somewhere in a predominantly spanish-speaking community). Anyhow, there's a song by Tom T. Hall, "I Love". It pretty much is a summation of the entire Big Green Experience. Here, let me share with you the lyrics and we'll cover the highlights together immediately thereafter:

I love little baby ducks, old pick-up trucks, slow-moving trains, and rain
I love little country streams, sleep without dreams, sunday school in may,
And hay. And i love you too.

I love leaves in the wind, pictures of my friends, birds in the world, and squirrels. I love coffee in a cup, little fuzzy pups, bourbon in a glass, and grass. And i love you too.

I love honest open smiles, kisses from a child, tomatoes on the vine, and onions. I love winners when they cry, losers when they try, music when it's good, and life. And i love you too.


OK, so, first off, there's the obvious connection. Old pickup trucks. See, I wasnt even aware that Big Green was even CONSIDERED an "Old Truck" until a very good friend of mine refered to her (with sincere deference) to how endearing it was that I loved Green so. It truly was a shock to me, mostly because I dont consider anything, "Old" unless it was manufactured prior to say, 1980. That's OLD when it comes to vehicles, young when it comes to people, so it's a good round number to use for guaging appropriately. Anyhow, I never realized how deep my affinity for Green ran until the moment it was pointed out to me.

Well, recently, as I've driven Rebekah to and from, she just doesnt speak to me the way Green does. Green always knows just what to say. She knows if I'm happy, she knows if I'm sad. Green is always there for me. See, Green loves classic country music (prior to say, 1980-ish) and she knows just what to say each morning to perk me up and bouy my spirits. Course she's a devil sometimes and knows I want to revel in a little melancholy, and she'll deliver that just as lovingly.

I love the throaty rumble green pipes out when she's fired up. See, when you drive somewhere, you get used to the way these newer cars drive. They have pep sure. Some even have vigor. But at a stop light, when Green pipes out a Dwight Yoakam tune, and you drop that hammer. She reacts immediately. I can have her up to 70 in a few hundred yards. I love putting on the blinker and giving her 1/5 throttle. She'll leap right ahead of some smug yuppy and blow a nice black cloud out as a reminder not to tailgate too close. You wanna know something else? She's sexy too. No serious. She has clean lines and she just resonates confidence and capability. More than once I've seen some little lass in an adjoining lane sit up and take notice. Yeah, there's just something women like about a pickup man.

Well, I'm not really sure there's any life-lesson here. Frankly, Big Green makes a statement. She doesnt sip her glass from crystal stemware. She's obnoxious at times, rude even, but she's a closer. See, way I got it figured, I'm an American. I went to Iraq for 12 months, to separate folks that wanted to kill each other, for the privilege of them selling us their over-priced oil. Now, I realize that the grand irony is that we're sitting directly atop the most vast oil fields known to man. But a bunch of candy-asses back in Washington are dead set on us buying high and selling low and a whole slew of ridiculous policies and procedures designed to reduce the American way of life to that of a German socialistic ideal in which gasoline will run you about 9 bucks a gallon. See, I think the problem is much simpler than that.

We have a "Strategic Reserve". I say, we park the U.S. Navy out in the Persian Gulf. Any tanker than comes out destined for any other port than the U.S. or a U.S. ally, well, it becomes a reef structure quick, fast and in a hurry. Then we pump our own damned oil. For about a ten year period. Then we tell those screamin' idiot God-less bastards over there that we really dont care WHAT they think. See,they only understand force, and they dont really have a lot of respect for weakness. They crave a great caliph and will never embrace democracy no matter what shiny polish your liberal arts teacher put on it. Now, the Saudi's, well they understand business. They'll sell to us, they'll play nice, but make no mistake, they hate our guts with a passion. So, they are smart. They diversify. They know this whole train is coming to a stop someday, so they want to be in a position to bargain when it does.

OK, what does all this angry American talk mean? Well folks, I've seen it first hand. I've seen my brothers and sisters fight and die to keep oil below three bucks a gallon. I think it's entirely unnecessary. I think that the real culprits are in Washington, making ridiculous (Ironically "Green) policies that are touchy-feely, yet out of touch with the reality on the ground.

See, Big Green knows this. She doesnt apologies for belching clouds of black smoke. She'll tow 8,000 lb of kids and dogs and trailers and water up three canyons and over to live the way I and my brothers fought for your right to do.

So when I get to a stop light, and it turns green, and Big Green and I lurch forward to the sounds of Jason Aldean, Just Dont Tell 'Em I've Gone Crazy, well now you'll know why. See, there's a couple of ways to, "Go Green". You've got yours, and I've got mine. But heres the beauty of it, we live in a land where were free to feel and think and act on what we deem is right. While I afford you the same respect to recycle garbage sacks, I'd like you to afford me the same right to purchase gas that I fought for, to take my family on a camping trip, the way my dad did for me, his dad did for him and we've been doing for generations. See, I'm an American. Big Green gets that. We're loud, we're in your face, and you know what? Frankly we're not really afraid to get out and kick a little ass on your behalf should the need arise.

So there you have it folks. I'm going Green. I go Green everyday I can. I can afford to, because this wonderful nation allows me the opportunity to do so if I can afford it financially. That's the difference between us and them. I think if you can afford it and you want to make the sacrifices necessary to do so, well that's your right and it's noone else's business. However, if you want to save a little money and buy a hybrid or an electric car, well knock yourself out. I dont mind you exercising your right to go green your way either.

Hope you dont mind my rant as much as I mind yours. Have a great day and God Bless ya.

J