Hey there. Yeah, I know, it's been a while. I just got back into town a couple of hours ago from a campout with Josh. Oh, you probably didnt know this, but I got called to be an 11 year old Primary teacher, as well as the 11 Scout leader along with Chad, my co-hort in crime. Anyhow, we went out to Five Mile Pass out near Cedar Fort, Utah and had a pretty good over-nighter with Josh and his partner in crime, Carter. So, forgive me, I'm a little tired, my punctuation and grammar may not be up to par.
So, yeah, listen, Friday was Josh's birthday. He turned twelve, so tomorrow he's going to graduate out of my class and be ordained a Deacon. I'll be doing the ordaining, so that's pretty cool. I've never given anyone else the Priesthood before, so it should be an emotional day for all involved. Josh and I had an interview together last Wednesday with the Bishop and I was actually very impressed with Josh's answers to some of the interview questions. It's not a requirement that a parent be involved in the interview, but when I was invited in, I figure what the heck you know?
So, tomorrow we got that going on. It should be fun. Then in the afternoon we'll have inlaws and outlaws over for brownies and ice cream for Josh's family birthday. Which, I'm not sure why, but apparently kids these days need multiple birthday parties. One for friends, one for family, one at school, and I guess one at church. Yeah, he took donuts on Friday to get the other kids in the public school system wired so that they can't learn and the Japanese keep on kickin' our trash. Whatever. I'm happy for the little man and all that he's growing up to be. It's quite a contrast between Sam and Josh. Josh, I realized will be driving in four short years, and Sam hasnt even realized that it's an option for him.
You know, that reminds me. Those two boys. Vastly different in ways, and so similar in others. Sam is so easy-going. Josh was an incredibly difficult baby and I'm pretty sure we didnt sleep for three years straight. In fact I know it, because Lexi came along quite unexpectedly 18 months after his arrival and spoiled the whole idea of ever sleeping again. We started planning babies after that point, and gave ourselves a bit of a reprieve before adding Olivia. Whom, as it turns out, is absolutely out of control. She's insane I tell you. Has these dark brown burning little eyes and this blonde hair and an angelic face but a demonic demeanor. Oh yeah, I know, she's a child of God alright, but she's Hell on Wheels I tell ya. She wakes up pissed off and goes to bed quite against her dominant and agressive will. She screams out in the middle of the night, "MY BA! MY BAHHHHHH! OH NO MY BAH!!!" which really is a signal to your's truly that I've way over-slept since putting her down at 11:19 and now, at 3:38, it's apparently time for, "Pink Milk" which really is code for Strawberry Nesquick. Yeah, I know, I'm a horrible parent. I could give two shits right about now. I just want to sleep again through a solid night some day.
Oh, yeah, so about that milk, yeah, I realize I'm coating her perfect little teeth with sugar, yep, you go right ahead and judge me. I dare ya. You've never had five kids before. You dont know your arse from a hole in the ground. So she rots her teeth out? It's not like she doesnt stand to inherit a brand spankin' new set already. Oh, and you and your dentist (you know who you are) can also try to convince me it weakens the bones in the jaw and blah blah blah blah. Yeah, dude, seriously, after 12 years of not sleeping, you learn to make sacrifices ok? Dont you judge me. It's not like the other four wont have perfect teeth. This is Olivia's penance for climbing on anything vertical, horizontal, or otherwise the moment you turn around. This is her payback for willfullly walking over to the fridge, filling up a cup with water, and then walking over and proudly dumping it all over the floor, couch, heat register, carpet or whatever, MOMENTS after you just spanked her and set her on the stairs for the same exact reason. The one way I can get her to sleep is to lay down beside her and her pink milk and read her, "Pinkalicious" which, to be honest, paints and entirely different vision in my head. But you know how I am about that sort of thing. I'm not even a work in progress anymore, I'm just bad news.
OK, so I lost my train of thought, I got on a rant and forgot. Where were we? So, oh yeah, so Josh is going to get the Priesthood, I'm stoked, mom's in shock, yada yada yada. It's a bit of a paradym shift (is that spelled right???) to know that he's going to be wearing a white shirt and tie and passing sacrament, instead of getting thumped with my fist while my arm is around my wife sitting in the pew.
So, what else? Yeah, things are going along well. I'm keeping up with all my personal goals with the exception of piano. It's not that I dont want to, it's that life conspires to keep me in the house for only about 2 hours a night, and 4/5 of that is spent mopping up pink milk, or picking up socks, stirring the goulash or whatever before the next requirement for the evening kicks in. Dont get me wrong, I'm quite accepting of it. Plus, the busier I am, the less I get into trouble. But you all knew that about me anyhow.
Anyhow, I better go. Olivia is going on and on and she's probably starving for mac and cheese or something. I gave her some oreo substitutes (the cheap ones) to break open, suck the frosting out and discard the soggy cookies) on the stairs before I came up to pen this, and I'm sure the house is in a total disarray because we left everyone in charge of everyone else for twelve minutes.
Anyhow, I gotta run. All the best to you and yours. Wiggle wiggle wiggle and all that.
Jon Out.
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