http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFro05ieV5c
So, two days ago...*looks at his imaginary watch*... Friday, I went with Josh on his first official Boy Scout campout. I mean, AS a Boy Scout. Him not me. Anyhow, now that he's the epitome of boyhood at 11, he was invited to go with the "older" scouts (at all of 12-14) and pull a little over-nighter. So, Matt Searl, the scout leader, asked me in a moment of emotional weakness if I wanted to attend. So, this was right immediately following Josh's Arrow of Light as alluded to in an earlier rant. Sorry, Stacey keeps asking me questions, I lost my train of thought...bottle, baby...blankey....
Oh yeah, so anyhow, Friday, I sort of got up late. I lay in the rack a little longer than usual. Stacey and I were going to get up and hit a OMG it's early class at the gym but (luckily) the baby was up again ALL friggin' night. So we had a pretty good excuse for laying there a little later than normal. So, about ten a.m. I realized I had to mow the lawn, head to the credit union, edge the lawn..(bed bath and beyond, home depot...look at some flooring, not sure if we'd have enough time...Actually a nice little Friday planned out.-Old School). So, I didnt get to have the big breakfast Friday we've become accustomed to. Oh yeah, some kids went to school in there and I yelled a little to keep them quiet to avoid waking their mother and sister Olivia.
So anyhow, I went with Dad to the bank and the credit union and then got home around 1:00. Then I a(x)sked Stacey to lunch at the Astro Burger up in the big city of South Jordan. Sort of a Friday hold-over from when we started the tradition after meeting with our ...uh..friend..for 50 minutes every week. Stop a(x)in', it's none of your bidness. Anyhow, we decided that is the good part of the tradition and try to do it on Fridays at least once a quarter. (Lunch that is). Oh, its important to note that I had to leave at 4:00 with Josh to head to our camping reindezvous. So, about 2:00 or 2:30 we headed back to the ranch to find all my gear and Josh's as well. I like to be prepared whenever I'm going into the woods with a boatload of teenage boys and their leaders so I was feeling a little behind the power-curve.
Anyhow, after ransacking the garage, basement, and pantry, we had enough of the essentials to pull an overnighter. So, we get to the scout leader's house, and I realize in fact we'd probably OVER packed. Most boys had that slack-jawed, mouth-breather look and had about a liter (quart) of water for a five mile hike in, and a five mile hike out. Some of them were debating as to whether they had, or in fact had NOT packed a tent. Looking at the impending rain clouds, I'd opted for knowing that for a fact. Suffice it to say, we jumped into a couple of the trucks and headed to the Five-Mile Pass area out by Cedar Fort, Utah. Literally it's about five miles as the crow flies from the pad here.
We arrived out there, donned our gear and started down the trail. I'd saddled Josh with an adult sized back-pack and about thirty lb of gear. I took my own back-pack and about fifty lb of gear. I'll give it to him, he made it about three miles with that thing about tipping him backward on the bigger hills. So, as I said, we went in FIVE miles. So, I ended up, packing MY pack AND Josh's pack on the front of me. Oh, it should also be pointed out that the last mile was about forty-five degrees incline. Sahhhweeet I thought. So, after sweating all over myself like a draft horse, we made it to the camp site.
Josh and I broke open our mess kits and some MRE packets and started to cook a little din din. So, I gave him first choice and he chose the beef stew, where as I was left with the chilli. He even asked me, "Dad, what's in the beef stew?" So, of course, quixotically I replied, "Beef...and....stew???" Thinking it maybe a trick question. So, oh, of important note, we have these knife, fork, spoon combos. I got them at Recreation Outlet before our Guy Trip a few years ago for five bucks each (See the common denominator of five woven throughout?) Anyhow, I grabbed Josh's and he got the spoon option out and proceeded to heat his MRE in his mess kit. We added a little water and then a half of a package of ramen noodles. Anyhow, he kept stirring and I continued to tear apart both backpacks looking for my spork thingy. So, I looked and looked through each pack not less than...you guessed it...five times. To no avail. So I asked Josh if we could share and he said fine, but then took his sweet time enjoying the languishing flavors of his concoction. So, nigh on about the time mine was ready, I picked up his spork, and gave it a flip to knock off the larger peices and remnants of stew before wiping it on my sanitary pants. As I flipped it, the little spoon attachment took flight into the local fauna. Kurt Eades was there and he and I looked for ten minutes while my dinner was cooling to about 40 degrees to finally find it. So, I powered down my fine fine Army chow. About that same time, we started cleaning up and I went to look in my back pocket for the flashlight. As I began caressing my left buttock looking, I noticed something in there...I placed my hand in, and immediately recognized it as my foldable Spork Thing. Irony I tell you.
Well about that time Josh and I and settled in for the night. Josh said to me not less than three times with a huge genuine smile, "Dad, I love you, thanks for coming." I completely forgot all about the previous five miles of trail. I tell you what, when that kid wants to be thankful he really lays it on thick. After the third time he told me all I could say was, "I love you son, thanks for letting me come." So, I had this inflatable mattress which I laid out under my mummy bag. I swear I tossed and turned all night. That ground was hard! I had told myself that this was just because I'd grown so accustomed to camping in trailers, and that I was sort of being a big woosey. Well about six a.m. when I finally couldnt lay there with a full bladder any longer, I rustled around to find a completely flattened mattress pad. Where it was supposed to be almost an inch thick, it was instead about 1/10th of an inch thick and totally devoid of air. Disgusted I picked it up and moved around with all of the 3 1/2 feet of headroom and noticed a little valve on the bottom corner. Twisting it I realized almost immediately, you guessed it, I'd never closed it tight the night before. Nothing wrong with the pad, just total operator error. So, my shoulder, hips back, head and everything ached for little or no reason at this point. Oh, it's important also to note, that we dont pack in pillows. Pillows are for sissies. I'm a cowboy dangit, on a steel horse I ride, I'm wanted. (WAAAAAAAAAANTED) Dead or alive...so, I literally had an old coat for a pillow, and the earth was last night's bed.
So, we packed up the next morning, and enjoyed mixed left-overs in our mess kits. Something involving either beef stew or chilli and oatmeal. Oh, Josh also added some chocolate milk mix to his and made it chocolately oatmeal ...mix...mix.
So, I guess the rest of the story is of course the reverse of what you'd already heard. We really enjoyed it, and we stopped at the Maverik on the way in to town. Oh, of important note, I went to get a much deserved diet coke, only to find that the Maverik which I choose to patronize was in fact..out of ice. I cant win I tell you.
Anyhow, I better close, Shaun the Sheep is on and I've only seen this episode five times. I gotta roll out now.
You be good. Hugs and kisses on all your pink parts. (I'm going to put together a rant on "Stuff my Dad Says", it should be fun, but that's one of them)
Anyhow, go on now, you bother me.
Jon Out.
No comments:
Post a Comment