Elk Season....

So there I was....28 degrees and hovering. Nothing but a pair of ninja jammies, a pull-over sweater, a Carhardt coat, a hunting vest, two pair of gloves, a sweet beanie, and a couple of guns. Alone, and unafraid in the wilderness. High atop the Wasatch looking down on Strawberry Reservoir and Highway 40. MILES behind enemy lines. Far from civilization, yet well within cell service to be honest. Anyhow, I was hunting the elusive Rocky Mountain Elk. Wapiti as some of my Native American counter-parts may have called him. "Cervus Canadensis." No, that's latin, I'm not talking naughty again. Anyhow, it's my absolute favorite time of year. Of course, I'd rather be hunting him in a nice sweater with camo on it, (it sets off my eyes just so) and a bow, but alas, t'wasn't in the cards this year.

See, this year, Josh again played football. Which I'm TOTALLY down with. Last year he had a horrendous season, and they lost every single game. This year, with a different coaching staff and some good ol' college enginuity, we were going to have a banner year as well. Only...they've lost all five games they've played. Or maybe it's six. I forget. Anyhow, there's like seven bucks in the, "Touchdown Bucket" that they pass around each time our kids make a touchdown. I imagine at the end of the season we'll have enough for a package of 12 hotdogs to throw a post-season party. No buns and home-made ketchup Eddie. Nothin' but the best Clark.

So, anyhow, I told you that, because it esplainas why we didnt go on the archery hunt when it was about forty degrees warmer. I love the archery hunt more, because it's traditionally during the rut (see also: "www.elk-in-luv.com") and because the bulls are out of their mind stupid chasing tail....get it..tail? Tail??? they're a lot easier to shoot. Come on, all is fair in luv and war. Let's be honest. It's not like you didnt get stupid once or twice chasin' a member of the opposite sex around campus. Unless of course you went to BYU, and then it's more of an amble at best. Nothing more than a trot for sure.

Anyhow, so I pulled the trailer over from our lot back to my dad's place on Strawberry. It's on the Soldier Creek side of the lake. Down on a peninsula. Which, is a funny word because I smirk every time I say it. "Pen-in-su-la" try it. It's funny. OK, I never grew up, so sue me. In KID court. Anyhow, so I am off on Fridays so I took the two oldest girls, a.k.a. "Alexia the Huntress" and "Isabelle the Terrible" up with me on Friday to recover the trailer and hit the opening morning hunt on Saturday. Saturday, see, as it turns out, IS a special day. It's the day that the elk have no idea they're being shot at until around noon when they go as high as elkinly possible and hide in the thickest underbrush imaginable for the rest of the month.

So, I took the aforementioned spirit walkers/Viking Princesses up in about three or four inches of snow and proceeded to walk, and walk, (and if you know the rest of the song, AAAAAAAAAND WAAAAALK. (Pioneer Children). See, I always tell my kids when they go out hunting, that pioneer children sang as they walked. So, they need to quit their yappin'. I mean, it's not like they're wearing bonnets and eating hard-tack, for crying out loud we're two miles from a major U.S. Highway! Anyhow, they're pretty good kids. So the girls and I saw a single cow and her calf, which were within my personal pistol range. OK, well I certainly would have scared the be-elkus out of them anyhow. So we put on another four miles or so (knee-deep snow, uphill, both directions) and then we saw a nice 4x4 bull and some cows. Oh, by the way, we're in a spike only unit, which means if the bull has more than one point on each side of his head you best not shoot him. So, anyhow, Isabelle the Terrible starts in again on how cold her little feet are. So, I sit down, in the snow...and pull her little boots off. Much to my chagrine, I find that her two socks (paper thin girl socks) are completely soaked and in very point of fact, freezing. So I pull off he socks in the "warm" 33 degree sun and literally rang them out. I'd say a good half-cup of water came out. Then I did the same for the other boot. By the way, they are the cutest little pink princess boots you've ever seen. But if pressed in public, I'd tell you they were too girly.

So, I gave Izzy my second set of gloves (duh, we're IN the Rocky Mountains!) to put on her feet and then put her wettish boots over the top. Then, in an act of pure love, and really with no other recourse, I put her up on my shoulders and proceeded to climb...and...climb...ANNNND CLIMB... the mountain we'd just come down. Took us over an hour to make it up about a 50 degree slope. I dont know how far it was really. Maybe 1000 yards, maybe more. But luckily we were doing it with all those coats on and the sun beginning to shine. Yeah, worked myself into a thick lather, just like you might see a BYU Coed who's been promised a 5 quart bucket of Chunky Munkey if she promises to remain chaste and virtuous. Anyhow, so I made it up to the ridgeline, wherein the wind began to blow, and the sweat, which now had made it through the second layer of coats was now beginning to evaporate at an exponential rate. Nice and chilly.

So, we made it down to the truck, just shy of two hours after I posted Izzy up on my shoulders. I am extremely happy to report that my little gal Lexi made it the entire way, without so much as pulling on my backpack up or down. I was really proud of my girls. After I made them lay down in the snow, get their butts and feet all sopping wet, and they didnt so much as complain every oh....three minutes or so. So it was a banner day.

So, after Josh's game he came up and we hunted Sunday all day. He of course packed his new 20 gauge shot gun and his small game license and even successfully downed a single forest grouse. That kid amazes me I tell you. Not so much as a single complaint from him. We hiked all over...five hours each morning and five hours each evening at a pretty good rate for 9000-10000 foot elevations. The kid simply amazes me. Well, alone one morning, I saw within pistol range six elk, however the bull running with them was a 3x3 and I had to pass on him. But all in all, our trucks got completely covered in thick mountain mud. We put chains on, we finagled ruts (the road kind, not the luv kind) and just had an amazing time.

We saddled up on Tuesday and then back over to our lot in Fruitland to plant about fifteen English Oak trees on our lot. That was fun. It was around fifty degrees and fairly level doing that so it wasn't that bad. Anyhow, around two I remembered Josh had practice that night and we high-tailed it out of there with the trailer and all the accoutrement for the season.

So, I guess you're caught up at this point. I'm not sure there's a venue for a question and answer period. Just know that a good time was had by all.

Well, as you've probably surmised, biscuits and gravy are awaitin' and I've got to get out there and clean that trailer in the driveway today.
Thanks for reading this far, you get points in Heaven for humoring me. Redeamable for nothing because it's Heaven and they dont take cash or American Express. I sorta believe that Chunky Munkey is the medium of barter. That's just a personal theory so dont belt that out in Sunday School.

OK, all the best and some of the worst your general direction.


Jon