Family Home Evening

Some of you may not be aware, but our church has asked that we as families set aside one day each week to block out the world and counsel together as families. The day of the week is less important, but in our house we have tried to honor Mondays in this way. Believe it or not, with four children under twelve, this can present a bit of a challenge. In fact, we recently started back up again. Stacey is a member of the Ward's "Relief Society Activities Committee". As such she's recently been involved in putting together little packets for each family. She's told me and of course I haven't listened, but I think there are three groups of about a dozen ladies a piece. Each group makes one packet periodically and then they give them to the Group Leader and they redistribute. I guess in theory you would get a dozen other packets once each month to use for your own personal Family Home Evenings.

Anyhow, the first packet we used we invited a neighbor family over and Stacey presented it. Here's a typical Family Home Evening in our home. We start about forty-five minutes late. I conduct, and we alternate the lesson. Each lesson is preceded by a scripture (hopefully tied to the lesson) an opening song and prayer. Not necessarily in that order. Then someone ramps into the lesson, dad or mom take opportunity to present a spiritual thought or clarification on the lesson. From thence we will conduct a check on learning through a series of questions which are punctuated either by threats or yelling or gritting of teeth. From that point, we usually race to the closing song, and a prayer is pronounced as closing and each kid is either escorted, or thrust into bed. I aint gonna lie to you, it can be downright exhausting!

Well tonight, Lexi was in charge of the lesson. I figured at nine, she would just have her lesson ready to read off the cards. No, she had put little green stickies on four separate scriptures, found the applicable musical accompanyment, made assignments AND conducted. All I did was preside. Which, of course I'm really good at.

Well this particular lesson, was played by Isabelle on the piano with the song, "Pioneer Children" (whom sang as they Walked, and Walked, and Walked annnnnnnd WAAAAAALLKKKEED.") Immediately following that was a thoughtful opening prayer by Josh. Then Lexi segued right into her lesson. She had a pair of my shoes. Into my shoes, in the center of the living room, she took a handful of pebbles. One handful represented "Anger". A second handful in the other shoe was a metaphor for, "Hate" a third, "Hurt". Followed by, "Revenge" and finally, "Resentment". All representative of other pains associated with being wronged. At that point I was already almost over-come with emotion at the reality of how much Stacey and I needed this lesson tonight. Not forgiving each other, but for somethings we've been dealing with over the past year or more. Luckily it's outside of us, but the message is still the same. Each child was invited to walk in the shoes with the pebbles inside and to describe how it felt. Among the questions were, "How long do you think you could walk in those shoes with the pebbles in it?" Stacey and I looked at each other and mouthed the words, "About a year."

The rest of the lesson was predictable but poignant. The point had been made and the Spirit had testified about what we need to do in order to bring peace back into our home and balance back into our lives.

We had an incredibly in-depth conversation with the kids about the Savior. Isabelle reminded us that the Savior had had His hands peirced by nails. At six, she clearly understands how injured the Savior had been. One of the scriptures had echoed the haunting words, "..forgive them Father, for they know not what they do..." The Savior's words while upon the cross. It hit me there, in our little family meeting. The words had taken upon them another level. This time, not just the Savior's forgiveness of those Soldiers that had crucified him, but the thought of how I personally have felt about how I've wronged others. Or how I've been wronged myself. How, most people truly dont understand the depth of their actions when they make short-sighted decisions that result in the anger, hate, and resentment we too often hold as proof of their character.

I've learned also this past year, how painful it can be, when someone refuses to allow heartful change, as well as how someone must feel if I dont allow them the same. I think I learned tonight, from my nine-year old daughter, how holding on to those things can damage us irreparably if gone unchecked. That if I expect change from someone, the same change I expect, but they dont give it, well that damages me, even more than it does them.

I've made a lot of personal changes this past year. By choice but not without a catalyst of course. But one of the things I've expected is for others to do so as well, but in the same way I was. I realized how much hurt our family has endured, almost needlessly as a result of that resentment, hate, and desire for revenge that is just frankly has no place. I've actually been on both sides of this equation and my desire to make things right has consumed me at times.

I could see in Stacey's face volumes about what we'd learned tonight from our children. From the Spirit that is re-entering our home as we let the past go and move forward. I will say that I believe that tonight was the absolute best Family Home Evening we've ever had. Unequivocably it was. I was amazed at the outpouring of personal revelation and knowledge brought about my a willingness to simply hold family time in accordance with the Lord's direction for us as families.

I'm thankful for my wife. I'm thankful for my children. But most of all I'm thankful for a Savior who allows me to learn in my own way, at my own pace. When he does teach me in this way, it is undeniable. It can never be forgotten or every be taken from me. I'm so thankful for this past year and what it's done for my personal growth and for the strengthening of our family I believe will result. I cannot discount the pain that has been endured by so many people. But tonight I heard out of my daughter's sweet efforts for her family a culmination of the Lord's truths that I simply had ignored or not been ready to understand.

If you're working on something in your life. Some old hurt. Some favorite hate, some favorite imagined revenge. I wish you'd reconsider. I wish you would see how that holds you back just as much as your tormentor. I hope you see the gall and bitterness that will ultimately change you if you refuse to let it go. I'm letting things go now. I thought I already had. I think for me, part of letting go is to stop having expectations of others that are just not reasonable. Or, more likely none of my business. I think also I'll stop waiting for forgiveness from others and just start living again. I'll let the Lord handle my imagined and real wrongs. I have so much else to focus on now.

Well that's about it for tonight. I gotta run, I've missed half of, "Castle" and there's a piece of cheese cake with my name on it. Hope you have a wonderful night and day. I'll talk to you soon. Oh and, I'd highly recommend Family Home Evening. You'd be surprised. Heck, most times you dont even have to give the lesson. ;)

OK. See you then,

Jon