So, there I was, no chit...seven miles behind enemy lines. With nothing more than a Bic razor and a mirror. So, we have a shaver right? So, I'm looking at my haircut in the mirror about a week or so ago. I have to cut my hair about every ten days. Which, even with a military discount gets expensive. So, of course I tip when I can find someone who can cut a good fade. Not everyone can so when you find that person you become a repeat customer. Anyhow, the last time I went in, I had that dude I may have blogged about earlier, not sure. No wait, that was Face Book. Anyhow, homeslice showed up just prior to me at the, "Rockstar" barbershop/salon in Draper. So, they're supposed to open at 0900. I showed up at 0905 to find this guy sitting in his Chevy Avalanche. So, I knew of course he was, 'in-line' and I wasnt too worried about it. Anyhow, after about ten minutes of waiting, I finally see there are people inside stirring around. So, of course I get out, and look through the door and point to the handle. So, anyhow, as I'm walking over to the door, el douche' makes his way over to the door to beat me there. Whatever, normally that wouldnt be a big deal.
OK, let me back up a little. So, this guy, as I sat in the parking lot two stalls away, was in his 100% fully "wrapped" Chevy Avalanche. It's wrapped with the logo of the company he obviously works for. "Immortal Sheds". But, I catch a look at this guy, and he's got these aviator-style glasses on and this girlish hair hanging ever-so-carefully coiffed over them on one side. A real pretty boy. Anyhow, so as he gets out, he's about I dont know, six three or so. He's got a Don Johnson five day beard and about four different shades of pretty-boy blonde hair in there intentionally trying to make him look like he just woke up. So, he's wearing this designer T shirt with a big cross on it, and he's got flame tattoos leaking down his arms. But, my first instinct, which proved to be correct, was that he was a total poser. So, anyhow, I get to the door, and he puffs up his chest and tries to look down at me. Of course I'm in uniform so I'm in "whatever" mode. So anyhow, El Douche' then GRABS for the handle before I can get to it. Which, for the record I was going to hold open for him, in acknowledgement that he was there first.
So anyhow, he says, "Hey" with a tough-guy head nod and makes his way in and immediately announces his arrival to Julie. So, unbeknownst to El Douche', Julie and I have actually had many conversations about how much she despises the guys that are more prissy than girls with their hair. Anyhow, the other lady (there were two) proceedes to invite me back. So, I'm sitting there in the chair, and I can hear this guy, giving her instructions. IMPLICIT instructions on the subtle nuances of El Douche'-ism and the proper care and feeding of his boy-band hair. So, I'm listening to this crap and Sarah, or June or whatever asks me what I want. So I say, "Skin on the sides, medium fade. Fingerlength on top." Done. D-U-N DONE.
So, I'm sitting there listening to this candy-ass go on and on and I actually hear Julie say, "I dont FEEL like that's what we want to do here, and she's pulling on his bangs and stuff like she would if they were characters in Steele Magnolias. So, by now, I'm putting together his banty-rooster posturing out front, and my disdain for his self-absorbancy (like Bounty, the Quicker Picker Upper) is really starting to piss me off. So, I start saying louder to my haircut girl, "yeah, whatever, if it's too short it'll grow back in a few days. Whatever" and of course I lay it on as thick as I can as to what a giant pussy this guy is, in contrast to what a real fellah would ask for when sitting in the chair. I'm actually getting rather heated, because he just has that air about him that he honest-to-goodness believes he's all that and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. So, knowing I'm in uniform and I can't afford to clean his clock, I continue minimizing my haircut in ever-increasing volume, erstwhile watching him through the mirror, and letting him know with my eyes that some people might fall for his cock-of-the-walk persona, but I aint buyin' it.
Anyhow, so she rinses my hair and I put axle grease or some other petroleum based product in it and walk out. But while I'm walking out, I see on the front of his Douche' Mobile, he has a chain wrapped through the front grill of his girl truck. Like seriously? You couldnt just drive a pink Barbie Jeep? Who the hell are you trying to fool fellah? I'll betcha you dont even have a six-cylinder in that thing. What the HELL are you going to tow with that? Are you going to come along and see some old lady in a Prius stuck in 1" of snow and pull her out? REALLY?! What an ass. Seriously dude, if there is a woman in your life, for more than about three weeks, I'm guessing your not closing the deal all that often. I'm guessing that you also have to tell them that you fly helicopters or that you own a giant boat at Lake Powell or something. Seriously? THAT is your Mac??? Dude. I actually pity you. NO kidding. You've almost convinced yourself that you're that tough.
I think what it is for me are the banty roosters that think somehow that they are intimidating. Like...perhaps being good at basketball in fourth grade somehow makes you a bad-ass at 39. I think the other thing that bothers me, is that they've enjoyed a relatively safe environment in Utah where relatively few people call them on it. It's not all that often that someone just puts your dink in the dirt for being an assbag. OK, so this sounds a little harsh I get it. But really when you've stood shoulder to shoulder with guys who really CAN do that, you dont fall for the posers. They pretty much run at the first sight of trouble. These are the guys that lay down on the soccer field wrything in "pain" to get a Red Card for the opposing team! First off, what the HELL is a Red Card? Like...a card makes me stop wanting to pummel you into fine-grain powder if you piss me off???! Yeah, NOT gonna work. No way in God's Green Earth you can convince me soccer is an actual sport. SOCCER is a way for you to keep your cardio in balance in the off-season. It's not an end-state it's an intermediate distraction at best.
OK, so where was I? So, oh yeah. Anyhow, so this past week, I was looking at myself in the mirror, dreading the haircut. So I thought I'd cut it with the clippers. 1/4 inch guide. So I put the guide on, run it over through and around and down and was dissatisfied with the results. So then I took the guide off, and just took it off. By that time, I realized, who we kidding? So I just Bic'd it. Anyhow, it's all gone. I've shaved it about five more times since then. Gotta tell you, I personally am starting to like it.
So, here's the funny thing. Not everyone likes it. Yeah, I know, you're shocked. But it turns out, that of the 50 or so people that have voluntarily offered their criticism, only about 1/5 of those really say they like it. But the other thing is, the amount of emotional recoiling I've witnessed by some. I've literally had some of the ladies in the office put their hands over their mouths and gasp and almost cry. I'm not really sure why MY hair has caused THEIR emotional reaction, but whatever.
Anyhow, so I better close I guess. Suffice it to say, it's been a surprising week. I've enjoyed a lot of good-natured ribbing and offered some in retaliation too. I think the best part about it, is that the people I work with, those people who genuinely put it all on the line, they got my back. Even if they poke fun, or make posters and powerpoint poke-fun, they've got my back. They're not like El Douche' who parades around in his designer pretty-girl bottom-bling jeans. These are people with honor and concern for others.
OK, really, I'm out. Just...know I got your back if you need me. Sorry if I said naughty words and offended your sensibilities. I'm at best a work in progress. But here's the deal, I'll tell you straight up where I think we stand with each other and you can always count on me for that.
OK, seriously go now, you're starting to piss me off. You dont want any of this. Trust me.
Always,
J
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Addictions....
Hey guys (n' gals). Hope things have been great for you lately. I've been busy. We had Governor's Day this past weekend and then drill again on Sunday. It's been busy. I had Friday off last week, and ran around getting stuff done for the house. You know, the standard. Working on a sprinkler, cleaning out the garage, the usual. So I guess I dont really have much to report to be honest with you.
Except maybe today. Today was an interesting day. Today I counseled a Soldier who's potential got a drinking problem. Really odd actually, because last week we listened to a comedian come and talk to us about his own personal issues involving alcohol and drug use and the loss of his brother to suicide. Anyhow, this Soldier within my command has a drinking issue. She uses alcohol to soothe whatever issues she's dealing with. Coupled with some prescription drug use for some pretty heavy back issues, this is a recipe for disaster.
Well, the First Sergeant and I, together with our Drug and Alcohol Abuse specialist and this Soldier's first-line leader sat down to talk. It was an intervention really. The Soldier admitted to her boss that she's drank to excess, pretty much nightly and often mixes the affects of the pain medications as a result. She's got a serious problem. My job as the commander is of course to offer the Soldier help, but to uphold the requirements of military service within my command.
Well, I'll be honest. I didnt expect this Soldier to own most of this. She did exactly what I expected. Minimized the usage, and denied the one-time use of marijuana. Personally, I dont understand marijuana usage, so I have no frame of reference as to it's draw. I just plain disagree with it's use. Alcohol in moderation doesnt bother me so I get the ability to waiver on the use of it. So, this Soldier pretty well broke down and got emotional. Denied the over-use and was interested in "clearing her name". Of course she was worried about an in-patient recovery option as well as her standing in the organization. We really were there to help her and I sincerely hope she understands that.
I guess today I saw a little bit of my own challenges in this Soldier that I've personally dealt with. I dont have issues with alcohol or drugs. I dont have issues with most things. But I know what addiction is all about. I've been there. I've lived it and I'd say I honestly am not sure I'll ever be, "cured". Addiction and acceptance of our own weaknesses and challenges really means that we'll never be, "ok" or normal in that regard again. Personally I have some challenges which are always going to affect me. The worst part about addiction, is that it never goes away. You can't "un-learn" what you know. You know EXACTLY how to get what you want to feel. You know the results will be immediate. They will be lasting, and they will leave you hollow once it wears off. The other thing about addiction, is that it's so powerful, you actually consider it on almost a daily basis as your method of coping. See, my personal addiction consumed me. It owned everything about me. I didnt care about anyone or anything as much as I did feeling that, "drug". I was able to rationalize just about anything I needed to in order to maintain it. What's horrible about it, is that you know it's wrong. You know the potential danger, and you still choose to pursue it. You get to a point, while you're trying to find the deep-end of the pool, that you can't touch the bottom anymore.
It's a wonderfully horrible feeling to be helpless to something. Especially when it's packaged in such a way that you can start justifying how you've always been and behaved before. You can honestly say, "that's just how I am. I dont have a problem, it's everyone else that does." But of course you know better. When you're involved in an addiction, you tell yourself that it's just you that you're affecting. You alone bear the burden and you alone will pay the price. But that's never the case. It can't be. That's the lie. All of use are loved by so many people around us. Some of these addictions can be so damaging that they change who we are fundamentally as a person.
So, as I sat there, I thought about my own challenges. How daily I have to run through a checklist. I weigh and re-weigh the options periodically. What will this mean if I do. Can I beat this? Will it always own me, or will I ever be in charge? That's the initial shock to it. The belief that it's always going to own you. Also, you realize there's a part of you that must stay completely away from any semblance of a relationship with what affects you. Alcoholics can't have, "just one" drink. I can't have "just one..." That's tough. Especially when you think you're, "cured". 'Cause, as an addict, you never will be. It's always going to be your individual challenge.
So, I probably said way too much here. My point is that I understand this young Soldier. I understand she's not as yet willing to admit she's powerless in one or more aspects of her life. I understand that she may not get there for a while. It's a bitter pill to swallow when you fancy yourself as a warrior to admit there's something you can't do on your own. We're taught to never accept defeat. Never give up. Asking for help is tantamount to failure as a Soldier. That's a scary thought.
Today I choose to believe you have to be stronger to stay away from those things that affect you. There's nothing wrong with admitting a weakness for something. Especially when it keeps you on the straight-and-narrow. To me, I know I have challenges now. I know that I have been given a vast array of talents. But there are some things which can be used against me by the adversary, that would ordinarily be considered a talent.
So, this Soldier, is at a crossroads of sorts. It's been brought about publically which really makes someone put their sheilds up. She didnt exactly come forward of her own accord, but certainly others saw her spiralling out of control.
I dont have an answer how this is going to turn out for this individual. I personally think she'll be, "strong" and admit her own weaknesses and challenges. I think she'll avail herself of the help available from those that care about her. I think she'll come out of this a much stronger individual than she was before. I think that's been the case for me. In many ways things are so much clearer than they have ever been before. However, that comes at a cost. That cost is admittance that I have an issue and a personal challenge that is not easily understood by many, but affects me greatly. I also have to admit that I have ownership of it, and that I have control if I choose to. I no longer have the luxury of, "that's just me and you have to accept the reality of it." My challenge is not something I'm particularly proud of being involved in, but I now in retrospect see a pattern I've been quietly following all my life. It's now up to me to decide to no longer accept the excuses and do something about it. I've got to own it.
Addictions of any sort can be so humiliating to admit. First to ourselves. That's the most difficult part. The other part is to admit it to those that care the most about us. Guess what? Those that truly matter never stop loving us. They may not understand it, but they will certainly try and help us over it. I think that's the other thing. You can't do it alone. Oh believe me. Oh, and you can't beat it with someone just like you. DONT EVER TRY THAT!!! "Dr. Heal thy self", is a prescription for failure. I guess to me that's like one crack-addict trying to convince another crack-addict to stop. Just doesnt work out that way.
So, my point in all this, is yeah, I understand her plight. BELIEVE me. It's humiliating to have always been the helper, and now have to become the help-ee. But, I've done it. I feel great. I really do. I know I'm square with my Heavenly Father. I know I'm doing the absolute best I can. I can wake up and go about my day not hiding anything from those that love me the very most. It's very liberating. It's incredibly humbling too. I think that's a side benefit of this all. The humility that comes with having to go to a Heavenly Father and admit we'd lied to ourselves so long we no longer know the truth ourselves.
OK, I gotta go. I guess my last piece of advice is whatever you're dealing with, as an addiction, you find the help you need. That you get outside of yourself and do something about it. That you become, "strong" and admit your own weakness and fix it. Once and for all. Of course, you may be left with something that you may carry for a very long long time. Perhaps forever. But that knowledge of our own personal challenges I believe brings us closer to our Heavenly Father. Because we know of His love and affections for us. How much he wants us to succeed. If we dont avail ourselves of that help, we never change, we never fully progress. We make choices which can irreparably damage our relationships with those that mean the most to us.
OK, I seriously have to help out around here.
All the best to you guys.
Have a great night.
J
Except maybe today. Today was an interesting day. Today I counseled a Soldier who's potential got a drinking problem. Really odd actually, because last week we listened to a comedian come and talk to us about his own personal issues involving alcohol and drug use and the loss of his brother to suicide. Anyhow, this Soldier within my command has a drinking issue. She uses alcohol to soothe whatever issues she's dealing with. Coupled with some prescription drug use for some pretty heavy back issues, this is a recipe for disaster.
Well, the First Sergeant and I, together with our Drug and Alcohol Abuse specialist and this Soldier's first-line leader sat down to talk. It was an intervention really. The Soldier admitted to her boss that she's drank to excess, pretty much nightly and often mixes the affects of the pain medications as a result. She's got a serious problem. My job as the commander is of course to offer the Soldier help, but to uphold the requirements of military service within my command.
Well, I'll be honest. I didnt expect this Soldier to own most of this. She did exactly what I expected. Minimized the usage, and denied the one-time use of marijuana. Personally, I dont understand marijuana usage, so I have no frame of reference as to it's draw. I just plain disagree with it's use. Alcohol in moderation doesnt bother me so I get the ability to waiver on the use of it. So, this Soldier pretty well broke down and got emotional. Denied the over-use and was interested in "clearing her name". Of course she was worried about an in-patient recovery option as well as her standing in the organization. We really were there to help her and I sincerely hope she understands that.
I guess today I saw a little bit of my own challenges in this Soldier that I've personally dealt with. I dont have issues with alcohol or drugs. I dont have issues with most things. But I know what addiction is all about. I've been there. I've lived it and I'd say I honestly am not sure I'll ever be, "cured". Addiction and acceptance of our own weaknesses and challenges really means that we'll never be, "ok" or normal in that regard again. Personally I have some challenges which are always going to affect me. The worst part about addiction, is that it never goes away. You can't "un-learn" what you know. You know EXACTLY how to get what you want to feel. You know the results will be immediate. They will be lasting, and they will leave you hollow once it wears off. The other thing about addiction, is that it's so powerful, you actually consider it on almost a daily basis as your method of coping. See, my personal addiction consumed me. It owned everything about me. I didnt care about anyone or anything as much as I did feeling that, "drug". I was able to rationalize just about anything I needed to in order to maintain it. What's horrible about it, is that you know it's wrong. You know the potential danger, and you still choose to pursue it. You get to a point, while you're trying to find the deep-end of the pool, that you can't touch the bottom anymore.
It's a wonderfully horrible feeling to be helpless to something. Especially when it's packaged in such a way that you can start justifying how you've always been and behaved before. You can honestly say, "that's just how I am. I dont have a problem, it's everyone else that does." But of course you know better. When you're involved in an addiction, you tell yourself that it's just you that you're affecting. You alone bear the burden and you alone will pay the price. But that's never the case. It can't be. That's the lie. All of use are loved by so many people around us. Some of these addictions can be so damaging that they change who we are fundamentally as a person.
So, as I sat there, I thought about my own challenges. How daily I have to run through a checklist. I weigh and re-weigh the options periodically. What will this mean if I do. Can I beat this? Will it always own me, or will I ever be in charge? That's the initial shock to it. The belief that it's always going to own you. Also, you realize there's a part of you that must stay completely away from any semblance of a relationship with what affects you. Alcoholics can't have, "just one" drink. I can't have "just one..." That's tough. Especially when you think you're, "cured". 'Cause, as an addict, you never will be. It's always going to be your individual challenge.
So, I probably said way too much here. My point is that I understand this young Soldier. I understand she's not as yet willing to admit she's powerless in one or more aspects of her life. I understand that she may not get there for a while. It's a bitter pill to swallow when you fancy yourself as a warrior to admit there's something you can't do on your own. We're taught to never accept defeat. Never give up. Asking for help is tantamount to failure as a Soldier. That's a scary thought.
Today I choose to believe you have to be stronger to stay away from those things that affect you. There's nothing wrong with admitting a weakness for something. Especially when it keeps you on the straight-and-narrow. To me, I know I have challenges now. I know that I have been given a vast array of talents. But there are some things which can be used against me by the adversary, that would ordinarily be considered a talent.
So, this Soldier, is at a crossroads of sorts. It's been brought about publically which really makes someone put their sheilds up. She didnt exactly come forward of her own accord, but certainly others saw her spiralling out of control.
I dont have an answer how this is going to turn out for this individual. I personally think she'll be, "strong" and admit her own weaknesses and challenges. I think she'll avail herself of the help available from those that care about her. I think she'll come out of this a much stronger individual than she was before. I think that's been the case for me. In many ways things are so much clearer than they have ever been before. However, that comes at a cost. That cost is admittance that I have an issue and a personal challenge that is not easily understood by many, but affects me greatly. I also have to admit that I have ownership of it, and that I have control if I choose to. I no longer have the luxury of, "that's just me and you have to accept the reality of it." My challenge is not something I'm particularly proud of being involved in, but I now in retrospect see a pattern I've been quietly following all my life. It's now up to me to decide to no longer accept the excuses and do something about it. I've got to own it.
Addictions of any sort can be so humiliating to admit. First to ourselves. That's the most difficult part. The other part is to admit it to those that care the most about us. Guess what? Those that truly matter never stop loving us. They may not understand it, but they will certainly try and help us over it. I think that's the other thing. You can't do it alone. Oh believe me. Oh, and you can't beat it with someone just like you. DONT EVER TRY THAT!!! "Dr. Heal thy self", is a prescription for failure. I guess to me that's like one crack-addict trying to convince another crack-addict to stop. Just doesnt work out that way.
So, my point in all this, is yeah, I understand her plight. BELIEVE me. It's humiliating to have always been the helper, and now have to become the help-ee. But, I've done it. I feel great. I really do. I know I'm square with my Heavenly Father. I know I'm doing the absolute best I can. I can wake up and go about my day not hiding anything from those that love me the very most. It's very liberating. It's incredibly humbling too. I think that's a side benefit of this all. The humility that comes with having to go to a Heavenly Father and admit we'd lied to ourselves so long we no longer know the truth ourselves.
OK, I gotta go. I guess my last piece of advice is whatever you're dealing with, as an addiction, you find the help you need. That you get outside of yourself and do something about it. That you become, "strong" and admit your own weakness and fix it. Once and for all. Of course, you may be left with something that you may carry for a very long long time. Perhaps forever. But that knowledge of our own personal challenges I believe brings us closer to our Heavenly Father. Because we know of His love and affections for us. How much he wants us to succeed. If we dont avail ourselves of that help, we never change, we never fully progress. We make choices which can irreparably damage our relationships with those that mean the most to us.
OK, I seriously have to help out around here.
All the best to you guys.
Have a great night.
J
Sunday, September 11, 2011
September 11th
September 11th, 9/11, 911...I suppose we all have our favorite way of refering to it. Today is of course the 10 year anniversary. Stacey and I were talking about it yesterday. More about the fact that somehow a decade has already transpired since that morning. I'll be honest here, I have some pretty intense feelings about that day, but I'm not sure I feel very passionate about it on this particular morning. Today it feels like perhaps time might heal all wounds, but that this defining moment for our generation was a turning point. Let me explain.
We all know where we were on that morning. What we were doing when we heard. The shock, anger, and the immediate void of the aftermath. There was a yearning for leadership from our National and ecclesiastical leaders. In the weeks and months following it galvinized us as a nation. Songs were written, everyone supported the troops, and we prepared for war with the Taliban and subsequently with the leadership of Iraq, and anyone else that dared to wake the sleeping giant.
I guess in my mind every generation has something that sets them apart from the generation before. It's trite now, but we can compare this to the events of Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. Today I dont feel hate, I dont feel sadness, I feel....adult I guess. The sheen has worn off and all the sparkles and glitter are gone. Life is really serious at times. We're not living in a Barbi Dreamhouse driving a Barbi Corvette and looking at rainbows and unicorns here. There are people who are striving to change our way of life because it constrasts drastically with their own, thousands of miles away.
That morning I was driving around in my Salt Lake County truck. I was an inspector for the County. I was in Magna. It was a beautiful morning. I was listening to the radio, Bob and Tom to be honest and more exact. I was driving South in one of the side streets on the North end of town. Honestly the trees look beautiful in the first rays of the morning and it was going to be one of those days that just make you glad to be alive. As I'm listening to the radio, the announcer...Tom I think...stops and says, "We've just gotten word that a plan has his one of the Twin Towers in New York..." Immediately I'm thinking...some idiot in a Cessna has crumpled his little plane up against it and by the way, who let him inside that airspace, and what kind of weather are they having that would allow him to get so far off course? I'm wondering these things, not exactly concerned....and then...another plane hits. This plane slams into the second tower of course. There's no doubt in my mind what's going on. I knew it immediately. My heart sank. I had just joined the Utah National Guard weeks before. I'd followed the Lord's promptings, and THIS is where it was going to take me.
I called Stacey. I told her to turn on the T.V. More for me than for her. I frantically jumped from A.M. station to station trying to get more information. It was a continuous description of the two aircraft over and over. Then someone put one into a field in Pennsylvania, and the Pentagon. 'Oh my God', I thought. Immediately my thoughts turned to the safety of my family at home. Were other attacks across the Nation scheduled in concert? Was my family safe?
I dont remember when I left work that day. I remember coming home and immediately turning on the T.V. Over and over the airplanes crashed into the towers. The entire Nation was in mass confusion. Over the coming hours and days, our President, like him or hate him, promised swift and exact retaliation for these attacks. Flags were out on houses, places of business, and I personally yearned for some sort of guidance from our Prophet (then) Gordon B. Hinkley. The Prophet did come on and the words he gave were more calming than militant. I found it interesting that our church leadership didn't discount the leadership of our Nation in any way, but reminded us that we were citizens of a Nation and that we should follow our National leaders and pray for them in the coming days.
I know that morning in Magna, I thought about going into a church. Which is weird I guess. Because Latterday Saint Churches dont often have a priest or any clergy there on full-time basis. They are usually locked throughout the day and open in the evenings for functions and dinners and meetings with the Bishop and others. I didnt go in I guess, I didnt really see the point, but I really wanted the guidance from our Heavenly Father as to what the coming days held and what I should do to help my little family along.
This past ten years have redirected my life...our lives in ways I would have never anticipated. My full-time profession changed almost immediately to that of a professional Soldier and my focus changed to that of the infliction of violence on willing participants. Immediately following those events it was very clear. Almost black and white. Good guys, and bad guys. Finally bad guys had a face and were even doing us the favor of amassing in large groups to make it easier to target them and erase them from consideration. Since that day, we've had our own Soldiers, field-grade officers at that, shoot our own Soldiers on Fort Hood, we've had home-grown terror attacks and plots, white powdery substances, etc. It seems like the entire world went crazy. So much hate and distain for our freedoms and choice.
Today, ten years later, I'm not even sure of the questions anymore. All of my decisions have become principle-based. Does this action promote choice, or does it limit it? Does this "protection" infringe on personal iberties or does it protect them. Even that has become a grey area at times. I suppose for me, I'd rather roll the dice and maintain freedoms, than lock down our homes, our schools, our liberties, and especially our minds, in the name of personal and societal protections. Personally, I'd rather see more concealed-carry permits. I think you walk softly and carry a big stick to be honest. I dont think disarming the masses does anything but provide the wolves with more pliant sheep. I also believe that we can't become calloused and suspicious of anyone and everyone. We still have to maintain that sense of community and openess that makes America what it is.
This country is going to hell in a handbasket it seems. I'm fighting mad angry at times. Not with (just) our President, not with Congress, no, I'm fighting mad with our citizenry. I'm mad that Dancing with the Stars, and American Idol, and 32 hot chicks and one guy in a dating show have replaced our desires to think for ourselves. I would like honest debate among neighbors and friends and conciencious voting each November. I would like to see people turn out for the Primaries. I'd like to see us replace non-action school boards and take power out of the hands of teacher's unions. I'd like us to educate our kids such that they know all things have a cost, and aint no such thing as a free lunch.
It's this free lunch mentality that has me the most worried. This sense of entitlement. It's mine, I didnt earn it, but I deserve it, and I get mine now despite the national/societal or worse the mental cost. That's ...pardon my french, bullshit. I'm sick of it. I really am. I'm not sure when we as Americans bought into the something-for-nothing mentality. But it's gotta stop here. EVERYTHING has a cost ladies and gentlemen. If you buy into a government program, you just hired thousands of government workers (of which I realize I am one) and therefore improved union membership and strength and of course, pandering. Oh my goodness I hate pandering. SOMEONE in Congress needs to stand up and stop the pandering to everyone. Listen folks, we only have so much money. It's guns or butter kids. So we can have butter, but we stop making guns. You can't promise both. My great dream for America is not some guy/gal on a white horse riding in to save the day and the economy. My dream is for you, and others like you, to shut that idiot-box off long enough to read a few articles to help you make a decision this coming Fall. I dont care HOW you vote, as long as you VOTE. Of course I have my prefered outcome, but dont vote by what sounds right, vote by what FEELS right.
Does this particular candidate/party/initiative support those principles which you do? If not, I'd actually prefer you not vote at all. Dont cloud the waters with stupid. If you feel passionate that socialized medicine is the way to go, and you've weighed the pros and cons and you're prepared to scale back military and infrastructure requirements, well by all means.
OK, I'm sorry this turned into a political rant. I'm sorry. I want one thing. For my personal military service, and for that of others to mean something. I'm potentially going to miss the birth of a child this October to go to school. A month later I'm going to miss our anniversary and my birthday for the second phase of that school. Granted, this is of my own doing, and my own volition. However, please dont make my personal sacrifices, and those of others like me go wasted because you'd rather turn your brain to mush because reading headlines is how you'd rather make your choices. This past ten years of my life have really defined who I am as a person. As a father, it's given me ability to focus and crowd out the world and protect my kids and our precious time together. As a husband, it's given me perspective as to the fleeting opportunities we have to tell someone we love them and mean it. As a citizen I'm passionate, as a Soldier, I'm deadly.
I'm not sure what this day means to you. I'm not sure if you've made it this far into the text. Of course I hope you did. I hope you remember this day, and that your experiences, whether similar or in great and vast difference remind you of who you are. I want this day to be a day where you reflect upon why you're Heavenly Father sent you here to this Earth at this time and place. Was it to make a difference in the lives of others? Was it to be a leader in a sea of swirling opinions? Was it to live principly based? Or was it to have a good time and enjoy the efforts and fruits of others' labor?
Anyhow, you have a great day. I smell bacon. I love this subject and this topic, but after all, bacon...well is bacon.
You kids have a great day. All both of you.
Always the Best,
J
We all know where we were on that morning. What we were doing when we heard. The shock, anger, and the immediate void of the aftermath. There was a yearning for leadership from our National and ecclesiastical leaders. In the weeks and months following it galvinized us as a nation. Songs were written, everyone supported the troops, and we prepared for war with the Taliban and subsequently with the leadership of Iraq, and anyone else that dared to wake the sleeping giant.
I guess in my mind every generation has something that sets them apart from the generation before. It's trite now, but we can compare this to the events of Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. Today I dont feel hate, I dont feel sadness, I feel....adult I guess. The sheen has worn off and all the sparkles and glitter are gone. Life is really serious at times. We're not living in a Barbi Dreamhouse driving a Barbi Corvette and looking at rainbows and unicorns here. There are people who are striving to change our way of life because it constrasts drastically with their own, thousands of miles away.
That morning I was driving around in my Salt Lake County truck. I was an inspector for the County. I was in Magna. It was a beautiful morning. I was listening to the radio, Bob and Tom to be honest and more exact. I was driving South in one of the side streets on the North end of town. Honestly the trees look beautiful in the first rays of the morning and it was going to be one of those days that just make you glad to be alive. As I'm listening to the radio, the announcer...Tom I think...stops and says, "We've just gotten word that a plan has his one of the Twin Towers in New York..." Immediately I'm thinking...some idiot in a Cessna has crumpled his little plane up against it and by the way, who let him inside that airspace, and what kind of weather are they having that would allow him to get so far off course? I'm wondering these things, not exactly concerned....and then...another plane hits. This plane slams into the second tower of course. There's no doubt in my mind what's going on. I knew it immediately. My heart sank. I had just joined the Utah National Guard weeks before. I'd followed the Lord's promptings, and THIS is where it was going to take me.
I called Stacey. I told her to turn on the T.V. More for me than for her. I frantically jumped from A.M. station to station trying to get more information. It was a continuous description of the two aircraft over and over. Then someone put one into a field in Pennsylvania, and the Pentagon. 'Oh my God', I thought. Immediately my thoughts turned to the safety of my family at home. Were other attacks across the Nation scheduled in concert? Was my family safe?
I dont remember when I left work that day. I remember coming home and immediately turning on the T.V. Over and over the airplanes crashed into the towers. The entire Nation was in mass confusion. Over the coming hours and days, our President, like him or hate him, promised swift and exact retaliation for these attacks. Flags were out on houses, places of business, and I personally yearned for some sort of guidance from our Prophet (then) Gordon B. Hinkley. The Prophet did come on and the words he gave were more calming than militant. I found it interesting that our church leadership didn't discount the leadership of our Nation in any way, but reminded us that we were citizens of a Nation and that we should follow our National leaders and pray for them in the coming days.
I know that morning in Magna, I thought about going into a church. Which is weird I guess. Because Latterday Saint Churches dont often have a priest or any clergy there on full-time basis. They are usually locked throughout the day and open in the evenings for functions and dinners and meetings with the Bishop and others. I didnt go in I guess, I didnt really see the point, but I really wanted the guidance from our Heavenly Father as to what the coming days held and what I should do to help my little family along.
This past ten years have redirected my life...our lives in ways I would have never anticipated. My full-time profession changed almost immediately to that of a professional Soldier and my focus changed to that of the infliction of violence on willing participants. Immediately following those events it was very clear. Almost black and white. Good guys, and bad guys. Finally bad guys had a face and were even doing us the favor of amassing in large groups to make it easier to target them and erase them from consideration. Since that day, we've had our own Soldiers, field-grade officers at that, shoot our own Soldiers on Fort Hood, we've had home-grown terror attacks and plots, white powdery substances, etc. It seems like the entire world went crazy. So much hate and distain for our freedoms and choice.
Today, ten years later, I'm not even sure of the questions anymore. All of my decisions have become principle-based. Does this action promote choice, or does it limit it? Does this "protection" infringe on personal iberties or does it protect them. Even that has become a grey area at times. I suppose for me, I'd rather roll the dice and maintain freedoms, than lock down our homes, our schools, our liberties, and especially our minds, in the name of personal and societal protections. Personally, I'd rather see more concealed-carry permits. I think you walk softly and carry a big stick to be honest. I dont think disarming the masses does anything but provide the wolves with more pliant sheep. I also believe that we can't become calloused and suspicious of anyone and everyone. We still have to maintain that sense of community and openess that makes America what it is.
This country is going to hell in a handbasket it seems. I'm fighting mad angry at times. Not with (just) our President, not with Congress, no, I'm fighting mad with our citizenry. I'm mad that Dancing with the Stars, and American Idol, and 32 hot chicks and one guy in a dating show have replaced our desires to think for ourselves. I would like honest debate among neighbors and friends and conciencious voting each November. I would like to see people turn out for the Primaries. I'd like to see us replace non-action school boards and take power out of the hands of teacher's unions. I'd like us to educate our kids such that they know all things have a cost, and aint no such thing as a free lunch.
It's this free lunch mentality that has me the most worried. This sense of entitlement. It's mine, I didnt earn it, but I deserve it, and I get mine now despite the national/societal or worse the mental cost. That's ...pardon my french, bullshit. I'm sick of it. I really am. I'm not sure when we as Americans bought into the something-for-nothing mentality. But it's gotta stop here. EVERYTHING has a cost ladies and gentlemen. If you buy into a government program, you just hired thousands of government workers (of which I realize I am one) and therefore improved union membership and strength and of course, pandering. Oh my goodness I hate pandering. SOMEONE in Congress needs to stand up and stop the pandering to everyone. Listen folks, we only have so much money. It's guns or butter kids. So we can have butter, but we stop making guns. You can't promise both. My great dream for America is not some guy/gal on a white horse riding in to save the day and the economy. My dream is for you, and others like you, to shut that idiot-box off long enough to read a few articles to help you make a decision this coming Fall. I dont care HOW you vote, as long as you VOTE. Of course I have my prefered outcome, but dont vote by what sounds right, vote by what FEELS right.
Does this particular candidate/party/initiative support those principles which you do? If not, I'd actually prefer you not vote at all. Dont cloud the waters with stupid. If you feel passionate that socialized medicine is the way to go, and you've weighed the pros and cons and you're prepared to scale back military and infrastructure requirements, well by all means.
OK, I'm sorry this turned into a political rant. I'm sorry. I want one thing. For my personal military service, and for that of others to mean something. I'm potentially going to miss the birth of a child this October to go to school. A month later I'm going to miss our anniversary and my birthday for the second phase of that school. Granted, this is of my own doing, and my own volition. However, please dont make my personal sacrifices, and those of others like me go wasted because you'd rather turn your brain to mush because reading headlines is how you'd rather make your choices. This past ten years of my life have really defined who I am as a person. As a father, it's given me ability to focus and crowd out the world and protect my kids and our precious time together. As a husband, it's given me perspective as to the fleeting opportunities we have to tell someone we love them and mean it. As a citizen I'm passionate, as a Soldier, I'm deadly.
I'm not sure what this day means to you. I'm not sure if you've made it this far into the text. Of course I hope you did. I hope you remember this day, and that your experiences, whether similar or in great and vast difference remind you of who you are. I want this day to be a day where you reflect upon why you're Heavenly Father sent you here to this Earth at this time and place. Was it to make a difference in the lives of others? Was it to be a leader in a sea of swirling opinions? Was it to live principly based? Or was it to have a good time and enjoy the efforts and fruits of others' labor?
Anyhow, you have a great day. I smell bacon. I love this subject and this topic, but after all, bacon...well is bacon.
You kids have a great day. All both of you.
Always the Best,
J
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Labor Day and Other Messes I've Gotten Into...
Hi guys. Yeah, it's me. I know, it's been a while. I've been busy, what do you want me to say about that? I'm doing my best here. I'm not so sure this post is going to have much in the way of excitement, just...sort of a day-by-day account of the goings-on around here.
So, you're aware we had a major Federal holiday a few days back. We ended up going up to our lot in Fruitland and doing some work around the yard. Well, back up a little. Josh had his first real-life football game on Saturday against Alta. Well, we were pretty well beat down. 49 to nothing. It wasn't pretty. See, we have no intensity as a team. No individual hate and fury. Fury as in anger, not furry as in kitty cat. Although, I've noticed the majority of Josh's compatriots could use a haircut. Anyhow, their team continued sweeping around our outside at will and just demolished our offensive line at will. I cried a little inside. I aint gonna lie to you.
So, we left from Josh's game and went up to the lot. Nothing fancy this weekend. Standard-issue. Just put the dog and some bags in the back of the pickem-up and headed out. I wanted to set some fence posts as well as cut down some of the weeds that have sprung up around the parking area. I've got some pictures on Facebook if you're into that sort of thing. Personally I think a picture is worth a thousand words, so in about 39,000 more words you'll be up-to-speed.
So, we didnt fish or anything. Just, sort of lounged around. It was nice. Stacey read her book a little, we took a nap. The girls painted some rocks and they swung on the "new" swingset I'm piecing together. That reminds me, I need about four cans of almond colored spray paint, some new chain, and about fifty 2x4's before we go up next time. This fall is going to be pretty busy though. I'll be lucky to get one weekend of elk hunting in October.
Oh yeah, I'm going to school the latter end of Octubre. Yeah, two weeks to South Cackalacky. Then we have the baby, then in Deciembre, over our anniversary and my birthday I have another two week school. Going to be insane I tell you. Entirely of my own doing though (child included). I just put off these schools without a lot of thought. Life just got in the way.
Anyhow, so I took Tuesday off and sort of lounged around. We played racquetball last night, and I'm happy to report I actually won a game. I'm not sure Craig (Big Show) and Rodney (The Hitman) were trying all that hard, but it sure felt good getting a mercy win at least.
So, that leads us to today I suppose. Here we are, just minding our own business. Oh, let me back up. We hit the Temple yesterday, Stacey and I. I'm really glad we went. We were actually the witness couple. Which, if you've never been means absolutely nothing to you. Anyhow, I wont go into it too much, but we followed up our visit with some Apollo Burger. I got the mushroom n' swiss of course, because if you're going to be bad, be bad all the way.
So, today was pretty much a wash. I worked as much as I could. Had some meetings, did the duty, that sort of thing. Found out some personnel changes are coming which I wasn't expecting, but hey, I'll roll with it.
OK guys, Josh is cooking the tortillas, Lexi just left with a friend I dont know, and Isabelle is trying to wake Baby Olivia. I guess I better punch-out and get involved.
All the best to you and yours.
Always,
J
So, you're aware we had a major Federal holiday a few days back. We ended up going up to our lot in Fruitland and doing some work around the yard. Well, back up a little. Josh had his first real-life football game on Saturday against Alta. Well, we were pretty well beat down. 49 to nothing. It wasn't pretty. See, we have no intensity as a team. No individual hate and fury. Fury as in anger, not furry as in kitty cat. Although, I've noticed the majority of Josh's compatriots could use a haircut. Anyhow, their team continued sweeping around our outside at will and just demolished our offensive line at will. I cried a little inside. I aint gonna lie to you.
So, we left from Josh's game and went up to the lot. Nothing fancy this weekend. Standard-issue. Just put the dog and some bags in the back of the pickem-up and headed out. I wanted to set some fence posts as well as cut down some of the weeds that have sprung up around the parking area. I've got some pictures on Facebook if you're into that sort of thing. Personally I think a picture is worth a thousand words, so in about 39,000 more words you'll be up-to-speed.
So, we didnt fish or anything. Just, sort of lounged around. It was nice. Stacey read her book a little, we took a nap. The girls painted some rocks and they swung on the "new" swingset I'm piecing together. That reminds me, I need about four cans of almond colored spray paint, some new chain, and about fifty 2x4's before we go up next time. This fall is going to be pretty busy though. I'll be lucky to get one weekend of elk hunting in October.
Oh yeah, I'm going to school the latter end of Octubre. Yeah, two weeks to South Cackalacky. Then we have the baby, then in Deciembre, over our anniversary and my birthday I have another two week school. Going to be insane I tell you. Entirely of my own doing though (child included). I just put off these schools without a lot of thought. Life just got in the way.
Anyhow, so I took Tuesday off and sort of lounged around. We played racquetball last night, and I'm happy to report I actually won a game. I'm not sure Craig (Big Show) and Rodney (The Hitman) were trying all that hard, but it sure felt good getting a mercy win at least.
So, that leads us to today I suppose. Here we are, just minding our own business. Oh, let me back up. We hit the Temple yesterday, Stacey and I. I'm really glad we went. We were actually the witness couple. Which, if you've never been means absolutely nothing to you. Anyhow, I wont go into it too much, but we followed up our visit with some Apollo Burger. I got the mushroom n' swiss of course, because if you're going to be bad, be bad all the way.
So, today was pretty much a wash. I worked as much as I could. Had some meetings, did the duty, that sort of thing. Found out some personnel changes are coming which I wasn't expecting, but hey, I'll roll with it.
OK guys, Josh is cooking the tortillas, Lexi just left with a friend I dont know, and Isabelle is trying to wake Baby Olivia. I guess I better punch-out and get involved.
All the best to you and yours.
Always,
J
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)