"Walking along beneath the lights of that miracle mile, Me and Mary making our way into the night
You can hear the cries from the carnival rides The pin-ball bells and the ski-ball slides
Watching the summer sun fall out of sight
There's a warm wind coming in from off of the ocean Making its way past the hotel walls to fill the street Mary is holding both of her shoes in her hand
Said she likes to feel the sand beneath her feet"
Morning'. How are you? Me, as you probably guessed, well I'm doin' fine. So this morning...wait, where are my manners? Please, have a seat. Can I get you something? I had some Chicken Tikki Tikki Tempo Marsala that Stacey made the other day, but I just downed the last of the naan. It's freakin' delicious man. Anyhow, I've got soda, I've got some hardboiled eggs, three I think, or I have a couple apples that Hammy left bite marks in the other day. It's a Fuji. Anyhow, just help yourself, right there in the mini fridge.
Well, you're probably wondering why I opened with the Kenny Chesney lyrics this morning. It's Sunday of course, and here I am at Drill...just...drillin' stuff, oh and uh...*sniff* not in the GOOD way. No this is Army drill stuff. Basically it's a chance to do everything I do Monday through Thursday most weeks, but extend the work week by donating another three days to the cause. Hey don't feel bad for me though, as I've already alluded to in previous literary works, the remunerations and bennies are nothing to sneeze at, so you won't hear ME gripe. Lessin' of course I was back in a combat zone, then I just, "Embrace the Suck." *sip...ahhhh*
Hey so there I was, cruising up (down if you consider South down and North up) Redwood Road this morning. Hoping my I.D. card was still stuck into my computer....WHICH...it was. So Laila was playin' this little ditty about someone's wife lovin' him like Jesus does..which sorta got me to thinking. Then, as I pulled into the gate, the aforementioned Chesney came on about the time I was committing to turn left into, Camp W.G. Williams. I gotta be honest with ya, I seriously contemplated just bypassing the turn and continuing on to see what came over the radio next. It's one of those contemplative, Sunday mornings that ol' Johnny Cash warned you about. Somehow I see myself watching a kid playin' with a can that he was kickin'. Oh and if you get none of these references, you may as well just politely excuse yourself, I'm not sure I can communicate outside of song lyrics, movie quotes, and double entendre' (what's the plural of, "double entendre'"? Double(s) entendre'? I wonder if it's like, "Sergeants Major", anyhow not important).
So of course I turned left, because duty calls. I listened to the lyrics of this little anthem to living in the moment, and it sorta got me to thinkin'...again. You know, I've got a lot of faults. No seriously, a LOT of faults. Well, take for example when I got back from Asscrackistan and was introduced to my new Ward (church) family. Nice lot of folks. There were some computer dorks, some mortgage bubbas, and an arssssssse load of real estate mini-moguls. Anyhow, here I was trying to fit back into polite society, and making what I thought was a fairly decent effort. So, early on in my cul-de-sac career, someone invites me up to this here Father and Son's (sons'???/ Fathers and son/ Fathers' and.....whatever) anyhow, boys and their daddies in the woods. So I get these here directions that say something to the effect of, "Take the Jeremy Ranch exit up Parley's canyon, hit your trip meter, go a spell, make a left, go a spell or a ¼ mile or three see's and then go three more see's and another swaggle and you're halfway there. Veer to the left (don't hit the deer) and you've arrived at, "Beaver Ridge....(get this...) GIRL'S Camp." And as I'm reading through these directions, I'm thinking, 'You're joking right? BEAVER ridge? Someone picked that name for a GIRL'S camp??? Man I sure hope some of them turn 18 this weekend.' But of course I kept that all in the lock-box up stairs and just smiled and said I'd be there. Now that's just ONE example in a litany of naughtiness that I'm capable of. I don't even MEAN to be naughty. It's just automatically the first thing that comes to my mind. What's worse is that it's SO obvious, that I'm literally in a state of disbelief that I'm the only one smirking.
I gotta be honest with you, I got so involved in that little flash-back that I totally forgot what we were talking about, so I'll just start a new paragraph and we'll pretend it didn't happen ok? So, ok, I remember where I was going with this now, so, as I was cruising up/down Redwood Road, I started thinking about the opportunities that life provides. Someone, the neighbor across the street one time I think paraphrased someone smarter than the 'tither of us when he said, "Good, Better, and Best. You would like to do the, 'Good', and sometimes life provides something, 'Better', but if you don't focus on the, 'Best' you'll lose your way and miss the greatest opportunities life has for you because you allowed yourself to be derailed by something that wasn't the best use of your time." So, that's not a direct quote, but I put it into quotations anyhow, because I'm paraphrasing his paraphrasal of something a guy said once that may or may not have been a church leader type. So, it's kind of like Japanese tourists. When you develop the film, all you've got is a picture of a guy taking a picture, of a guy taking a picture of a guy taking a picture. Now (to blow your mind) if THAT guy, takes a picture of the original picture guy...well it sorta completes the circuit. It's a lot like the medicine cabinet in my mom's house. You can fold up the left side, fold up the right side, and stick your head in it, and see yourself around every corner. Man am I glad I don't do drugs. THIS is the kind of shiz that goes on behind the curtain folks. NEVERMIND the Man Behind the Curtain!
Where were we? Yes, so I got thinking about life being like a bus, my bus of course is probably set in the 1960's where everyone on the bus was relatively clean and free of neck tattoo's and in sepia tone. Most of my made up movie shorts are in sepia tone by the way. Except maybe the one I dreamed up of being on a bullet bike doing 135 mph to Metallica's, Nothing Else Matters. Anyhow, some people dream about flying, I dream about dreaming. Whatever, dontchu judge me. So, I imagine on this bus, or maybe a train. In fact, let's make this train in the 1950's and let's make it the same train that Lois Lane was on when Superman (aka Clark Kent) was showing off for Lana Lang and sped to the intersection after BRAD was such a douche to him on the football field. So, Lois is cruising along and sees a vision (aka Super Clark) go past her window, and you see in the reflections simultaneously her then pre-teen face and him tearing' up the County Road and somehow not dusting up his white tenny-runners. Well that's sometimes how I think I feel about life. We're all traveling on this train, to a destination we have a loose idea about, watching out the window at opportunities flying by. Occasionally we get spiteful, angry, hurt, or some other emotion at all the things we COULD be. We say to ourselves, "I should be a doctor, I'm smart enough;" or "I should be an attorney, they make a lot of money"; or, "I wish I was a teacher, I wish I had influence and money wasn't that big of a deal to me." Each one of these opportunities are advertised as fleeting and if we don't grab hold of them, we'll speed to the end of life and wish we had. I've felt like this a lot to be honest with you.
Lucky for me though, periodically I think God gives takes a little pity on me and when I'm going the right direction throws in a warm feeling and a literal vision of some future event and what that's going to feel like when I get there. I think the last time it happened to me was in Fort Jackson, South Carolina a year or so ago. I was driving to the PX (Shopping Center on Post) and there were all these little troopies. BRAND new minted Soldiers, all in their Class A's with their parents. So proud of their one Basic Training Ribbon. All of them carrying a plastic shopping sack and sitting down to eat a slice of pizza with mom and dad whom came from Albany, or otherwise to see their little Johnny or Suzy graduate. So as I pulled around to park, soaking in all this familial bliss, I had a vision. It was Stacey and I right back here in six years. Josh was graduating Basic Training and I was in my dress blues, as a Lieutenant Colonel. It was so real, so vibrant a day dream that I knew it would come to fruition. My point is, I think the Lord gives me these little snippets to keep me on track. I'm a guy who needs to know where we're going before I set out. At least one of the four cardinal directions would be of help. But sometimes, I find myself on this train, looking out that sepia tone window, (all the women are wearing white gloves and red dresses with white polka dots too mind you. Nothing like a gal that's every part the lady during the day, and every part the ...sorry, I got lost again....point is, if I focus too long on the opportunities speeding by, I get lost.
So, today I had the opportunity to turn around and head back home and call in sick. Something I NEVER do unless I'm actually sick. I had the opportunity to drive all the way to Arizona to some place warmer and turn my back on all the responsibility, the heartache, the sleepless nights, and, unfortunately, all the happiness at the last ½ hour in our 24 hours of challenge day. But, like the song that started this whole line of thinking, "in the morning I'm leavin' making my way back to Cleveland". Cleveland in this case is representative of our cumulative responsibilities. It's indicative of who we have to be to accomplish the things that we need to. Cleveland is that mystical land at the end of the tracks which is laid out for us. Our job, is to watch some of the opportunities out the window and try not to lose focus. Now, if you look at the implied meaning of, "Cleveland" well, how does that compare to walking on the sand barefoot, and listening to a band in someplace warmer? Well, it doesn't. And if you're REALLY paying attention, you realize that ol' Kenny is aware of that, but he's also aware, that this temporary segue goes nowhere. That this ISNT his life. This ISNT his purpose. He doesn't exactly know why Cleveland holds his life, but what he DOES know is that this fleeting moment, as impressive a detour as it is, really isn't what's BEST for him. And that's the real challenge isn't it? Staying focused long enough to see our way through to our destination. All along, as we drift off looking through that sepia haze, once in a while, we see ourselves. We're sitting on a folding chair, a little older, a little wiser, watching the fruits of our labor marching on a parade field, standing straighter and taller than he ever has before. Finally become the man that his mother and father hoped for. I'm guessing that no matter how good it felt to walk along watching the summer sun fall out of site, it can't possibly hold a candle to watching a son embark on a life of goodness, potentially greatness. It that temporary segue that derails us, it can't wash over us, become us, define us, with the, "Better" because life is so very tenuous and fleeting, we really truly only have time for the, "Best."
Hey listen, I gotta skedaddle. I've got stuff going on and now that the sun's up I may as well make a day of it. You have a wonderful day and I'll see you next time we get the chance. Meanwhile, do Good things. Try and be a little, Better. Before you know it, you'll be enjoying life's Best.
Have a great Army Day,
J
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