Hey guys. I missed you. Welcome back. So this morning it was raining up at our lot. Willy Nelson kept going through my mind. "The last thing I needed first thing this morning, was to have you walk out on me."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYpGEAwH1k0
It was the perfect song. Outside the trailer it was drizzling rain and the thunderheads were lazing across the sky from the south. Over the Wildcat the welcome moisture dropped into the red dirt and almost disappeared immediately. I sat under the awning in the folding chair, looking over yesterday's efforts. My dad helped me put up a three place swing set for the kids on their playhouse. It's out of whack and a little out of square and plumb. Kind of like this morning and Willie. Almost right, but not quite. So I sat there and let everyone else sleep in the trailer. Watching the weeds in the road-base of our parking area dance with the breeze from down the canyon below.
I had a great day today. Well the whole weekend was nothing to brag about, and I think that's just what the Dr. ordered. Anyhow, I had some time alone with my thoughts, and before my bacon ends and peices and some Bisquick biscuits I figured I was livin' the life I was made for. We had to jet back for me to make it to teach my Sunbeams this afternoon and I'm so glad I did. For once they seemed subdued. Only one of them sat on my leg and demanded horse rides and the other three at least took turns at the up and down game and demanding to be picked for the song as they'd been reverent the past three seconds. I love those kids. Even Sage. No, especially Sage. Jackson's coming around some. Christian is still a bit quarelsome and Rowan was uncharacteristically talkative.
Anyhow, I will cut this short. Here's another Willie for you to keep the mood. Take care and always the best.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru40GiejGDg&feature=related
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Captain Ameri-What???!
OK, Here it is folks. I'm just gonna lay it out for you. So last night we went with the Browns to watch a movie. I dont want you skipping ahead to find out which one, so I'll just tell ya. Captain America. I'm not gonna lie to you either. I thought the previews made it look like a great show. I mean, I loves me some America. I mean, if I could sit down at a cafe somewhere and order me up some Americana, with a side order of ma and apple pie, I'd do it every day (Calories notwithstanding). So, being an Army dude, anything involving America AND the word, "Captain" I figgered was a two-fer. You savvy?
So anyhow, the Browns snagged the tickets online, presumably because there was a high risk that the 9:45 would be completely sold out by the time we got there. Well, just FYI, not everyone has Friday's off, so you can pretty much get any seat in the house on a Thursday night and walk right in. This is in no way a commentary (as yet) on the watchability of the aforementioned movie. Anyhow, where were we? A yes, so after earing 13 Reward Points at the snacky-shak for two refill mugs, a bucket o' "carn" and some nacho's (con jalepenos) we made for the door. We sat down, for some reason Wayne (Brown) (D.D.S.) insists on getting seats at the very back row each time we go. He says it's the best place to watch a movie but I think he wants to laugh at me for being out of breath by the time I reach the top of the stairs ( a heeeee a heeeeee *gasping*).
So, the lights go down (....in the citaaaye and the sun shineeees on ...the baaaay (Journey btw)) and the movie commences. So about the time that El Capitan gets his super powers (i.e. "muscles") I'm starting to see a lot of holes in this flick. First off, what's in the blue Go-Juice that makes him have muscles and jump like spidey man? It somehow changes his, "cells" to allow them to, "grow". But that's about the amount of background you get. I mean, seriously, for Spidey Guy, it's an irradiated spider. For the Hulk, it's gamma/beta waves or something. Captain A? Yeah, blue Koolaide in little test tubes. Also, for some reason they need an entire city grid of electricity to accomplish activation of the blueberry icey juice. So, right there I'm sort of left hanging.
From thence, his gal-pal (Agent Somethingerother) whom is normally hot as that chick in the new Clash of the Titans and also hot in that show where the guy (ironically Spider Man) is the Prince of Persia and he has a dagger which stops time and blah blah blah blah...anyhow, beautiful eyes, but they dressed her up like my great-aunt Barbara in 1941 and sort of ruined it for me. The whole time she kept blinking her eyes and sort of misting up because she love him (with muscles) and she was just too proud to say it. Whatever. Anyhow, so she shows her affections unmercifully by shooting at him when he least expects it. Sort of to keep his skillz honed I imagine.
OK, from there, he gets this lycra/sharksuit made which can stop an, "Advancing German bayonett" and also a tricked out Harley Davidson which can shoot fire out the back and also take jumps at 50 mph and land perfectly. Oh, additionally, he's sheild is made of 100% "Vibrationum" which last I looked at the Periodic Table, dud-n't exist. Anyhow, just so happens that the ENTIRE world supply of Good Vibrationnisms was used to make a rather boring looking shield which it just so happens suits the Cap'n's fancy. Oh it turns out that Vibrato also has magical properties which allow a simple disk to be thrown like a boomarang and return quite magically to his arm.
What else? Oh, and whomever their on-scene WWII Army advisor was? Yeah, so the Colonel, played by Tommy Lee Jones (who is now....93ish ???) sets up his command post about fifty feet from the German occupied territory. So that when Captain America (whom doesnt follow orders very well btw) saves 400 dudes he can just walk up to the gate and flash his credentials (a gay suit with a white star on it and a mask) and they let him walk right in. Unfriggin' believable. Additionally, apparently the Germans had tanks that were about 20' tall and just failed to use them in North Africa or to repel any of our landings in France or anything like that.
Oh, I forgot the best part. So the bad guy, whom looks suspiciously like a cross between Skeletor (from G.I. Joe fame) and a Candy Apple Red 1940's Willy's 4 door...whom apparently is into leather outfits and dressing like Darth Vader gets ahold of this occult cube thing which apparently is a bridge to the cosmos or some other as yet undescribed level of power. I'm telling you, I simply got ZERO background on how this stuff all works. The cube, which glows like the rocks that Harrison Ford saved for the Indian Village, as well as that Crystal Skull thing on that other show, has these magical properties which can make the ultimate D-Cell battery for use in your laser guns. Oh, also these laser guns disintigrate whomever you shoot but are simply powerless against the magical properties of boomarang-vibrationatum (somewhat harder that "Osmium") but only has an atomic number hovering around 13 (aluminum kids, dont bother looking it up, I've done the homework for you).
ANNYYYYhow. I dont want to ruin it for you, I'll let the movie do that. Suffice it to say, it just...left me hanging. No background. No sub-plots, no catharsis, no Pathos, and barely any Ethos to speak of. I think the ONE exception MIGHT have been had we watched it in 3D and dark-eyes girl walks into the bar in a (candy-apple) red dress and scolds the captain (AGAIN) for not keeping his mind on his mission and his mission on his mind. Re-dic-u-lous. Again with Aunt Barbara's hair it's ruined.
So...I guess alls-Ahm sayin' is good luck with all that. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I almost forgot!!! MY absolute biggest hangup over this whole thing is the way that Captain America does it all on his own. He's the epitome of an Army of One! Yeah, he invites a whole bunch of buddies along to help out, but really, it's just for show. He doesnt need them. He's infallable. Betwixt him and his little .45 caliber 1911 pistol and his Vibratory shield (which apparently DOES accept a subtle non-camo paint scheme) he's got this covered.
So, at the end, not to ruin it, but he wakes up..somwhere (dont read ahead kids!) and his last line is, "I had a date..." And you're like? Huh? What???! Did he just say, "I had a DATE?!" to Samuel L. Jackson?! That's it?! I had a date? Not, "MAN! Has anyone seen Jon's Aunt Barbara? I want to look her up and see if she's still hot at 96 years old. REALLY?! I had a DATE?! Like, that's your setup for a Captain America Dos? Like you believe I'm coming back to see what happens when Agent Doe Eyes hits the 1960s and wears her hair in a beehive?! I'm out! You lost me. Like, the second season of "Lost" I'm out. I just can't handle your ridiculousness in my action movies. Heck, even in Thor, where the guy was obviously running about a 60 I.Q. he at least had the presence of mind to hook up with Natalie Portman! Come on!? Is that the perfect love now? Is that the direction we're headed? We can love each other telepathically but never kiss???!!!!! From six star-clusters away?! Our love will span the reaches of time as long as we dont swap saliva!?! Yer killin' me!
Anyhow, I gotta go. Thanks for letting me rant. You of course know I've got to get some stuff done today. Big day. Picking a peck of pickeling cucumbers at dad's place this afternoon. I'll see you guys around.
I had a date...
Always,
J
So anyhow, the Browns snagged the tickets online, presumably because there was a high risk that the 9:45 would be completely sold out by the time we got there. Well, just FYI, not everyone has Friday's off, so you can pretty much get any seat in the house on a Thursday night and walk right in. This is in no way a commentary (as yet) on the watchability of the aforementioned movie. Anyhow, where were we? A yes, so after earing 13 Reward Points at the snacky-shak for two refill mugs, a bucket o' "carn" and some nacho's (con jalepenos) we made for the door. We sat down, for some reason Wayne (Brown) (D.D.S.) insists on getting seats at the very back row each time we go. He says it's the best place to watch a movie but I think he wants to laugh at me for being out of breath by the time I reach the top of the stairs ( a heeeee a heeeeee *gasping*).
So, the lights go down (....in the citaaaye and the sun shineeees on ...the baaaay (Journey btw)) and the movie commences. So about the time that El Capitan gets his super powers (i.e. "muscles") I'm starting to see a lot of holes in this flick. First off, what's in the blue Go-Juice that makes him have muscles and jump like spidey man? It somehow changes his, "cells" to allow them to, "grow". But that's about the amount of background you get. I mean, seriously, for Spidey Guy, it's an irradiated spider. For the Hulk, it's gamma/beta waves or something. Captain A? Yeah, blue Koolaide in little test tubes. Also, for some reason they need an entire city grid of electricity to accomplish activation of the blueberry icey juice. So, right there I'm sort of left hanging.
From thence, his gal-pal (Agent Somethingerother) whom is normally hot as that chick in the new Clash of the Titans and also hot in that show where the guy (ironically Spider Man) is the Prince of Persia and he has a dagger which stops time and blah blah blah blah...anyhow, beautiful eyes, but they dressed her up like my great-aunt Barbara in 1941 and sort of ruined it for me. The whole time she kept blinking her eyes and sort of misting up because she love him (with muscles) and she was just too proud to say it. Whatever. Anyhow, so she shows her affections unmercifully by shooting at him when he least expects it. Sort of to keep his skillz honed I imagine.
OK, from there, he gets this lycra/sharksuit made which can stop an, "Advancing German bayonett" and also a tricked out Harley Davidson which can shoot fire out the back and also take jumps at 50 mph and land perfectly. Oh, additionally, he's sheild is made of 100% "Vibrationum" which last I looked at the Periodic Table, dud-n't exist. Anyhow, just so happens that the ENTIRE world supply of Good Vibrationnisms was used to make a rather boring looking shield which it just so happens suits the Cap'n's fancy. Oh it turns out that Vibrato also has magical properties which allow a simple disk to be thrown like a boomarang and return quite magically to his arm.
What else? Oh, and whomever their on-scene WWII Army advisor was? Yeah, so the Colonel, played by Tommy Lee Jones (who is now....93ish ???) sets up his command post about fifty feet from the German occupied territory. So that when Captain America (whom doesnt follow orders very well btw) saves 400 dudes he can just walk up to the gate and flash his credentials (a gay suit with a white star on it and a mask) and they let him walk right in. Unfriggin' believable. Additionally, apparently the Germans had tanks that were about 20' tall and just failed to use them in North Africa or to repel any of our landings in France or anything like that.
Oh, I forgot the best part. So the bad guy, whom looks suspiciously like a cross between Skeletor (from G.I. Joe fame) and a Candy Apple Red 1940's Willy's 4 door...whom apparently is into leather outfits and dressing like Darth Vader gets ahold of this occult cube thing which apparently is a bridge to the cosmos or some other as yet undescribed level of power. I'm telling you, I simply got ZERO background on how this stuff all works. The cube, which glows like the rocks that Harrison Ford saved for the Indian Village, as well as that Crystal Skull thing on that other show, has these magical properties which can make the ultimate D-Cell battery for use in your laser guns. Oh, also these laser guns disintigrate whomever you shoot but are simply powerless against the magical properties of boomarang-vibrationatum (somewhat harder that "Osmium") but only has an atomic number hovering around 13 (aluminum kids, dont bother looking it up, I've done the homework for you).
ANNYYYYhow. I dont want to ruin it for you, I'll let the movie do that. Suffice it to say, it just...left me hanging. No background. No sub-plots, no catharsis, no Pathos, and barely any Ethos to speak of. I think the ONE exception MIGHT have been had we watched it in 3D and dark-eyes girl walks into the bar in a (candy-apple) red dress and scolds the captain (AGAIN) for not keeping his mind on his mission and his mission on his mind. Re-dic-u-lous. Again with Aunt Barbara's hair it's ruined.
So...I guess alls-Ahm sayin' is good luck with all that. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I almost forgot!!! MY absolute biggest hangup over this whole thing is the way that Captain America does it all on his own. He's the epitome of an Army of One! Yeah, he invites a whole bunch of buddies along to help out, but really, it's just for show. He doesnt need them. He's infallable. Betwixt him and his little .45 caliber 1911 pistol and his Vibratory shield (which apparently DOES accept a subtle non-camo paint scheme) he's got this covered.
So, at the end, not to ruin it, but he wakes up..somwhere (dont read ahead kids!) and his last line is, "I had a date..." And you're like? Huh? What???! Did he just say, "I had a DATE?!" to Samuel L. Jackson?! That's it?! I had a date? Not, "MAN! Has anyone seen Jon's Aunt Barbara? I want to look her up and see if she's still hot at 96 years old. REALLY?! I had a DATE?! Like, that's your setup for a Captain America Dos? Like you believe I'm coming back to see what happens when Agent Doe Eyes hits the 1960s and wears her hair in a beehive?! I'm out! You lost me. Like, the second season of "Lost" I'm out. I just can't handle your ridiculousness in my action movies. Heck, even in Thor, where the guy was obviously running about a 60 I.Q. he at least had the presence of mind to hook up with Natalie Portman! Come on!? Is that the perfect love now? Is that the direction we're headed? We can love each other telepathically but never kiss???!!!!! From six star-clusters away?! Our love will span the reaches of time as long as we dont swap saliva!?! Yer killin' me!
Anyhow, I gotta go. Thanks for letting me rant. You of course know I've got to get some stuff done today. Big day. Picking a peck of pickeling cucumbers at dad's place this afternoon. I'll see you guys around.
I had a date...
Always,
J
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Hawaii in the Rear View...
So you may have heard, we just got back from Hawaii on Sunday. We'd been there a week. Well six sleeps and seven wakeups. Trust me the math sorta works out when you figure we left for home on the red-eye and arrived Sunday at seven a.m. Anyhow, we'd had this conference for work which I had been the planner for. 85 folks from the middle and western part of the U.S. (and Guam) decended upon Waikiki Beach for four days of discussions involving Soldier issues. I'd love to bore you to death with the details, but two of you already went to sleep. Oh, I left a day early to ensure the hotel was setup and took a couple days leave on the tail end.
Anyhow, the conference was a modest success and I learned a lot about setting up events from a few thousand miles away. I'm a visual guy so it was difficult for me to have a mental image of the rooms we were going to use for the breakout sessions and....*yahwn*
Anyhow, so I brought Stacey along with. This is pretty rare. Well, actually this is the first time I've ever been able to bring her on a business trip. Most times we've just had a baby, or the kids are in school, or we can't find a sitter, or her mom's sitting on her passport and refuses to give it back....small stuff. Anyhow, I've racked up about 130,000 miles with Delta and 110,000 with United and...anyhow, I had the miles. So I cashed in 65,000 miles and married it up with $7.50 in fees and got Stacey a ticket to ride shotgun in the 767. She hasn't flown anywhere since she last came to visit me in Japan in 1996. So...it's been a while. I like to keep her oppressed so that when I do give her a good deal she really feels like I'm doing her a favor. No, to be honest, our first ten years of marriage we were just trying to get by. I was gone constantly once I joined the military again so there just never was a good time while I was worried about my new career and making a good name. I ain't gonna lie to you. It's been pretty much all about me the last fifteen years. The first step in realizing you have a problem is admitting it. Or...something like that. Anyhow, we REALLY needed some time unmolested just her and me. So, once I figured that the hotel room was paid for, the flight was seven bucks, and I had per diem, out of pocket we couldnt possibly spend more than $700-$1000 and we just couldnt afford to pass this up. Plus we refinanced the house and we're scheduled to miss a payment, and...being a dutiful American, I elected to pump that money right back into the faltering economy. I know, I'm a sacrificer. It's what I do.
Anyhow, so the first day we arrived and occupied the room. Much to my surprise, as one of the perks of being the planner, we'd been upgraded to a "Jr. Suite". Which, really means you get a couch. Everyone had a balcony but our suite was on the nineth floor and overlooked Waikiki Beach up close and personal. Sureal is all I can say. I'm not sure I can spell it, but I can say it. (Does that word look right to you???) Anyhow, we sort of just vegged a while watching the surfers and the people walk by and the sailboats and ...just taking it in. Then we went out and got some dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger in Paradise. Wherein we learned you can get just about any add-on for $3.00. In this case, I got the plastic, "collector's" mug from the restaurant.
The next day I got up and toured the hotel and our breakout rooms and had some meetings and blah blah blah. Took about three hours which I felt horribly guilty about seeing that Stacey was locked in the room without children and that view and only 100 channels on the T.V. Oh, I warned her against room service, not till our 25th anniversary can she do that. ;)
So, that day and the next few days we'd go do things as either a couple or in a group. The first day (of the non-conference) we took the car and went up to the North Shore and visited the LDS Temple grounds. We didnt do a session because, well I asked and she said no. She was bent for election to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Which, we arrived at around 330 pm. Oh, I had gotten hungry so we stopped at this little road-side restaurant and had a, "plate lunch" which apparently always consists of meat, rice, and some fruit. I elected for the pulled pork that day, and every day thereafter. So we got to the cultural center and bought two "Ambassador Tickets". That meant you got the guided tour (and backstage passes), a special boat show/ride, the luau, a tram ride (which we didnt take) the show (which was really cool) and the ice cream at the show. Oh, and a DVD to play for your friends presuming you have any when you get home. I really liked the different island experiments and was completely enamored with the chicks that have the white ball on a string and swing it around. From the island of Aorta or something like that. Anyhow, I was deeply impressed that all of the students/dancers really enjoyed their work and seemed genuine with their desire to share their island culture. Oh, important to note, the firedancer guy who was in his mid-forties and was completely rippling with muscles had all the ladies in the crowd sweating profusely not just because of the hot sun, but because of his ability to rip a coconut out of it's husk with nothing more than a sharp stick and his bare hands. Ordinarily I would have gotten up and taught him a lesson, but he seemed to be doing fine enough on his own. Oh, also he said that all the rest of us flabby main-land types could have that same physique if we climbed nine trees a day. He called it...(wait for it) "Tree-Ninety X". Damnit, he was funny too.
The next day Stacey and our mutual friend Camille visited the Princess Castle or some crap like that and she gave me an entire download on the history of Hawaii and how we'd basically stolen it using the U.S. Army to occupy.
The next few days are really a blur, but we went fishing on a boat and Stacey caught a trigger fish, the State Fish of Hawaii, and we also visited a waterfall which frankly was a huge let-down for the hundred dollars it cost me to ride a van to the North Shore and park at a trail head at the golf course. I'd rather have golfed for 65 bucks and forewent the sweating. Oh, also a kid who played for University of Hawaii was our, "Guide" and he wore a sleeveless shirt and climbed every tree (and vine) to show them off to the ladies in the tour. Backing up, come to think of it, nobody at the Polynesian Cultural Center had a shirt on either....and further more...you know what? Never mind. It's too painful, let's move on.
So, anyhow, we're back at home now, and we've had a wonderful time. I've been online searching for a sixty-foot palm try to climb nine times a day. Apparently we're not in the right "Zone" for it to grow so I may have to settle for a light-pole which is just plain out of my price-range.
So, that's it, now you have it....OHHHHH wait. I can't fail to mention snorkeling in Hanauma (spell that?) bay. We spent a couple hours there snorkeling and getting wet in the surf. Stacey, whom is NOT a strong nor willful swimmer was able to get out into the surf and experience it. I think she even got wet behind her ears once. Oh, and the second to last day, I lost my wedding ring in the surf at Waikiki. I tried to get up on the break-water berm and when a big wave came in it pushed me off. In my effort to grab the berm the ring pulled right off. So, sick inside, I went up to the ABC store and purchased some goggles. I went right back out into the surf and for twenty minutes scoured the bottom about where I lost it. I couldnt see it, so I got up on the berm. I put my goggles up on my head to see more clearly and a wave came in and pushed me off. Ahem...and stole my goggles. I never saw them again either. They were about nine dollars and I figured I used them for about nine minutes. So it's still a much better return on investment than a 976 number. Those of you that get that joke should be disgusted with yourselves.
Anyhow, today is Tuesday and I took off to be home. I just couldnt focus at work yesterday and figured with drill this weekened I was only kidding myself that today would be in the least bit different.
I better run. You kids be good and keep your eye out on a little gold circle washing up on the beach if you head to Waikiki anytime soon.
All the best,
J
Anyhow, the conference was a modest success and I learned a lot about setting up events from a few thousand miles away. I'm a visual guy so it was difficult for me to have a mental image of the rooms we were going to use for the breakout sessions and....*yahwn*
Anyhow, so I brought Stacey along with. This is pretty rare. Well, actually this is the first time I've ever been able to bring her on a business trip. Most times we've just had a baby, or the kids are in school, or we can't find a sitter, or her mom's sitting on her passport and refuses to give it back....small stuff. Anyhow, I've racked up about 130,000 miles with Delta and 110,000 with United and...anyhow, I had the miles. So I cashed in 65,000 miles and married it up with $7.50 in fees and got Stacey a ticket to ride shotgun in the 767. She hasn't flown anywhere since she last came to visit me in Japan in 1996. So...it's been a while. I like to keep her oppressed so that when I do give her a good deal she really feels like I'm doing her a favor. No, to be honest, our first ten years of marriage we were just trying to get by. I was gone constantly once I joined the military again so there just never was a good time while I was worried about my new career and making a good name. I ain't gonna lie to you. It's been pretty much all about me the last fifteen years. The first step in realizing you have a problem is admitting it. Or...something like that. Anyhow, we REALLY needed some time unmolested just her and me. So, once I figured that the hotel room was paid for, the flight was seven bucks, and I had per diem, out of pocket we couldnt possibly spend more than $700-$1000 and we just couldnt afford to pass this up. Plus we refinanced the house and we're scheduled to miss a payment, and...being a dutiful American, I elected to pump that money right back into the faltering economy. I know, I'm a sacrificer. It's what I do.
Anyhow, so the first day we arrived and occupied the room. Much to my surprise, as one of the perks of being the planner, we'd been upgraded to a "Jr. Suite". Which, really means you get a couch. Everyone had a balcony but our suite was on the nineth floor and overlooked Waikiki Beach up close and personal. Sureal is all I can say. I'm not sure I can spell it, but I can say it. (Does that word look right to you???) Anyhow, we sort of just vegged a while watching the surfers and the people walk by and the sailboats and ...just taking it in. Then we went out and got some dinner at Jimmy Buffet's Cheeseburger in Paradise. Wherein we learned you can get just about any add-on for $3.00. In this case, I got the plastic, "collector's" mug from the restaurant.
The next day I got up and toured the hotel and our breakout rooms and had some meetings and blah blah blah. Took about three hours which I felt horribly guilty about seeing that Stacey was locked in the room without children and that view and only 100 channels on the T.V. Oh, I warned her against room service, not till our 25th anniversary can she do that. ;)
So, that day and the next few days we'd go do things as either a couple or in a group. The first day (of the non-conference) we took the car and went up to the North Shore and visited the LDS Temple grounds. We didnt do a session because, well I asked and she said no. She was bent for election to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center. Which, we arrived at around 330 pm. Oh, I had gotten hungry so we stopped at this little road-side restaurant and had a, "plate lunch" which apparently always consists of meat, rice, and some fruit. I elected for the pulled pork that day, and every day thereafter. So we got to the cultural center and bought two "Ambassador Tickets". That meant you got the guided tour (and backstage passes), a special boat show/ride, the luau, a tram ride (which we didnt take) the show (which was really cool) and the ice cream at the show. Oh, and a DVD to play for your friends presuming you have any when you get home. I really liked the different island experiments and was completely enamored with the chicks that have the white ball on a string and swing it around. From the island of Aorta or something like that. Anyhow, I was deeply impressed that all of the students/dancers really enjoyed their work and seemed genuine with their desire to share their island culture. Oh, important to note, the firedancer guy who was in his mid-forties and was completely rippling with muscles had all the ladies in the crowd sweating profusely not just because of the hot sun, but because of his ability to rip a coconut out of it's husk with nothing more than a sharp stick and his bare hands. Ordinarily I would have gotten up and taught him a lesson, but he seemed to be doing fine enough on his own. Oh, also he said that all the rest of us flabby main-land types could have that same physique if we climbed nine trees a day. He called it...(wait for it) "Tree-Ninety X". Damnit, he was funny too.
The next day Stacey and our mutual friend Camille visited the Princess Castle or some crap like that and she gave me an entire download on the history of Hawaii and how we'd basically stolen it using the U.S. Army to occupy.
The next few days are really a blur, but we went fishing on a boat and Stacey caught a trigger fish, the State Fish of Hawaii, and we also visited a waterfall which frankly was a huge let-down for the hundred dollars it cost me to ride a van to the North Shore and park at a trail head at the golf course. I'd rather have golfed for 65 bucks and forewent the sweating. Oh, also a kid who played for University of Hawaii was our, "Guide" and he wore a sleeveless shirt and climbed every tree (and vine) to show them off to the ladies in the tour. Backing up, come to think of it, nobody at the Polynesian Cultural Center had a shirt on either....and further more...you know what? Never mind. It's too painful, let's move on.
So, anyhow, we're back at home now, and we've had a wonderful time. I've been online searching for a sixty-foot palm try to climb nine times a day. Apparently we're not in the right "Zone" for it to grow so I may have to settle for a light-pole which is just plain out of my price-range.
So, that's it, now you have it....OHHHHH wait. I can't fail to mention snorkeling in Hanauma (spell that?) bay. We spent a couple hours there snorkeling and getting wet in the surf. Stacey, whom is NOT a strong nor willful swimmer was able to get out into the surf and experience it. I think she even got wet behind her ears once. Oh, and the second to last day, I lost my wedding ring in the surf at Waikiki. I tried to get up on the break-water berm and when a big wave came in it pushed me off. In my effort to grab the berm the ring pulled right off. So, sick inside, I went up to the ABC store and purchased some goggles. I went right back out into the surf and for twenty minutes scoured the bottom about where I lost it. I couldnt see it, so I got up on the berm. I put my goggles up on my head to see more clearly and a wave came in and pushed me off. Ahem...and stole my goggles. I never saw them again either. They were about nine dollars and I figured I used them for about nine minutes. So it's still a much better return on investment than a 976 number. Those of you that get that joke should be disgusted with yourselves.
Anyhow, today is Tuesday and I took off to be home. I just couldnt focus at work yesterday and figured with drill this weekened I was only kidding myself that today would be in the least bit different.
I better run. You kids be good and keep your eye out on a little gold circle washing up on the beach if you head to Waikiki anytime soon.
All the best,
J
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